Confessions of a Single Mum -

How do you fit into the UK dating market in numbers?

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Jun 17, 13

How do you fit into the UK dating market in numbers?

You don’t need me to tell you what it’s like out there for UK singles – between putting on your dancing shoes, reading specs, and logging in online to find Mr Right, it can start to feel like you’ve tried everything. A single successful or dreary night can often lead to making generalisations that somehow stick with you, like being convinced that men from a certain country or even town would be much better for you than the local rag-tag bunch. Thinking along exactly the same lines as us, Posh Bingo has created a seriously smart infographic that

Just A Mere 140 Thousand Hours

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Its been around 140,000 hours or 5,840 ish days. Well I think it has if I have worked it out right, any rate 16 years have flown by. 16 years ago my daughter was a tiny little thing, now she is facing her last two exams and leaving school on Friday. As each birthday and milestone has gone by I have felt a little bit older each time. Each time my heart swells with pride and I pat myself on the back. ( I guess at this point I have to also credit some of it to her father….there small bit credited to him too) But then this weeks milestone has brought me new thoughts, new fears and new ramblings. My daughter will no longer be a school girl, she’s growing up.

Its that gangly, awkward time when they don’t go to school, haven’t started college and battling the rest of the world looking for a job. Oh the scary bit of job hunting. She will have knock backs. I don’t want her to have knock backs I want everyone to see beyond the tennagery bit and see the lovely girl I see. The girl who does like to help and has an amazing sense of humour. The girl who has more common sense than some adults I know. The girl who wants to be grown up but still pinky swears with me that she is doing good.

I don’t want the world to take advantage of her good nature. I don’t want the world to have all the good bits whilst I get the tired grumpy bits of her at the end of the day. I want her to have fun. I want her to have happy memories. I don’t want her too look back like I do and only remember working. I don’t want her to struggle with money from 16 onwards like I did. I joke that I can’t wait for her to leave home as I want her room as an office. In truth I don’t want her to ever leave, sod the office.

But the world keeps turning. Life has to keep evolving and its time for her to start her new chapter. There is so much I want for her but I don’t want her to chase her dreams; I want her to dream big, grab her dreams, run with her dreams and never let them go till her dreams are reality.

Men Deserts

Posted by Confessions of a single mum in Single Mum Ramblings | 1 comment

Just for a change, single parents are in the news again. This time it’s to do with men deserts. What a charming phrase. Men deserts are areas in the UK where children are growing up with no fathers or male teachers. They say that higher rates of teenage crime, pregnancy and disadvantage are believed to be linked to the increase absence in fathers.

I had a few emails from news programmes asking my view so figured I should say what my view is after reading a few articles on the subject and getting myself rather angry about it all.

First off not all single parents are single parents from choice but yet all single parents are made to feel bad. Some made the wrong choices in life and divorce happened – were not all perfect not even those pointing the fingers. Some divorces happen out of a necessity to protect the children. Some mothers have been widowed – again hardly their own fault that they are single parents. But as ever we all get lumped into the one pot. You’re a single parent everything is your fault.

They are all concerned that children are being raised without fathers or there are fewer male teachers. Is anyone addressing the missing fathers in all this or pushing a drive for recruiting more male teachers? Or are we just gasping in horror at yet again the awful single mothers. Or is it a case of we are an easy target and we do get blamed for everything else so might as well chuck that one at us too.

My children do have a father and they see him most days. Oh and they do have male teachers. If for any reason they didn’t get to see their father I would make sure they had a male influence in their lives by other means, Uncles, Grandparents and friends. I do believe that children need both males and females in their lives to not only give a balanced view but also to support and inspire. That said there are plenty of same sex and lone parent families that bring children up successfully. Just because the family unit is not everyone’s idea of the perfect set up doesn’t mean those children are destined to the scrap heap of life.

Dating detox plan: Out with the old, in with the new

Posted by Confessions of a single mum in Online Dating, Single Mum and Dating | 0 comments

Moving on from your previous relationship can be difficult. The emotional upheaval, feelings of rejection and crushed hopes, and those days you just can’t get it off your mind are all hard to deal with. But it’s important not to dwell for too long on the past and what went wrong.

Once you have allowed yourself that period of mourning, you need to pick yourself up again and remember that you can find happiness again. Here’s how:

Self-confidence – learning to love yourself