Confessions of a Single Mum

Author Archive

Whohooo we have a new toy to play with. A forum for Confessions of a Single Mum. It’ still early days so please if you find something wrong, a section we can’t live with out or anything else please get in contact. I will be adding things as we need them.
Post a question for other mums to answer, get a confession off your chest or just stop and say hi.
We need all you mums and your posts.

So what are you waiting for – head over to the forum and try it out.

Fathers Day is fast approaching, and the thoughts on many children’s and mother’s minds is what to get your dad’s to show them how much you care on Fathers Day. Moneysupermarket.com has come up with a few ideas which are great gift ideas, but also have money off the full prices. Don’t worry; your dad will never know that you got his gift for less!

Odeon Cinemas vouchers – Is your dad a bit of a film buff? Treat him to a movie this Fathers Day at your nearest Odeon cinema and get 1/3 off the ticket prices. This is a great activity that the whole family can enjoy, and it’s even better because it won’t break the bank. Print off this voucher and take it with you. Don’t forget the popcorn!

ASK vouchers – If you’re thinking of taking your dad out for a meal, then consider taking him for a great Italian meal on Fathers Day. The best part about it is that dads eat free on Fathers Day, meaning that the cost of the meal will be dramatically reduced! Your dad can still be spoiled without costing the earth!

Champneys vouchers – If you think your dad deserves a bit of pampering then consider buying him some men’s pampering products from Champneys, and get 25% off the full price. This is the perfect way of showing your pop how much you care without having to foot a hefty bill!

La Tasca vouchers – Celebrate Fathers Day the Mediterranean way at La Tasca, where you can get 50% off tapas to share, as well as ½ price San Miguel and ½ price bottles of wine. This will cut your Fathers Day bill near enough in half, meaning you can spend the remaining cash on a special gift for him.

Firetrap vouchers – Is your dad in need of a makeover? If you’re looking to buy your dad a nice shirt or t-shirt, this voucher could be for you. Firetrap are offering 12% off for Fathers Day, as well as free delivery- meaning you don’t even have to leave your home to get dad’s present!

When there is only one parent to do everything, every bit of help is appreciated. Now I’m not suggesting you have to hire a cook, cleaner and gardener, though very tempting, as that isn’t financially viable. But there are a few things that I am tackling in my children. Not because I am a power hungry, neat freak over bearing mother, but because it will ultimately help me. Bear in mind though that every child, parent and situation is unique so these are just ideas that I have found to work or are working. Be realistic in what you want to achieve and remember you can’t expect any child to be neater, tidier or more organised if you aren’t. They learn from you. Read the rest of this entry »

Showing on Thursday 10 June 21:30 on BBC Three is Dappers. A light hearted comedy set in Bristol and based around two best friends Faye and Ashley who are young mums living on benefits. They have dreams though and are determined to become rich businesswomen, whatever it takes.

I haven’t seen this so I can’t comment if it’s any good. Just thought It may be of interest to some of you. It has potential though as it is written by Catherine Johnson who scored international acclaim with the hit musical Mamma Mia. Catherine drew on her own experiences as a single mum in housing association lodgings as well as returning to her home town as she set out to challenge some of the perceived notions of young single mums.  She also tackles some of the more serious troubles of being a single mum but with some humour added in.

Dappers is the final show of three openers for potential new series. We will have to wait to see if Dappers is deemed good enough to be awarded its own series.

You can read the BBC blur and schedule of airings at the Dappers BBC page

Being a single parent uses up every ounce of your juggling skills and if you missed the juggling classes you soon get a crash course in the art of doing 6 things at once as well as more worrying than humanly possible for one person. One of the things that I really worried over, and still do, is my parenting style. Not the designer gear sort of style complete with matching accessories but more the ‘how you parent’ sort of style.

When my second child came along there was ‘the how to get down the street in a safe and orderly manner’ task to conquer. Baby was easy to contend with. Wrapped up in pram he was safe as my pram driving skills would allow. But now my daughter was foot loose and fancy free. No pushchair for her anymore. I tried the reins approach which lasted all of one trip to town. She got tangled up, I got stressed and the reins were sent to the back of the cupboard. I soon learnt I couldn’t push a pram with one hand and hold her hand and keep us all safe.

The solution was to have a spying session on other mums, how did other mums do it? It materialised that some could indeed push a pram with one hand whilst others took the baby in sling, other child in pushchair approach. I tried this too. Now if you have experienced this you may understand where I come from when I say it makes you walk very unnaturally and not at all straight. After 9 months of a growing bump with growing backache, I was yearning to stand up straight. Having the baby in the sling was like being pregnant again, plus being summer baby got hot, I got hot, baby got hotter….you can see where I am going with this. Sling soon joined the reins at the back of the cupboard.

My only answer was to train my daughter to hold the side of the pram. Easier said than done, so I thought. I had images of something catching her eye and off she would go even if I had explained firmly and nicely that she needed to keep hold of the pram. Indeed this did happen, at the side of the road too. Did I handle the incident with decorum? No. Did I act calmly and explain in best sugar coated words the risk of being flattened by a passing car? Well no. I went into hysterics of the screaming ‘you could have been killed’ kind. There were uncontrollable tears from me and a wobbly bottom lip from her. Solved the problem as she never let go of the pram every again.

This was my first taste of the differences in parenting styles. Tell them as it is verses sugar coated. Tell them as it is seems a bit harsh but is it the right thing? Or should it be more sugar coated. Life isn’t sugar coated though, awful things happen.

As my children are now a lot older sugar coated really doesn’t work, it doesn’t get over the importance of some things. They are about to enter the era of firsts. First offer of alcohol, first offer of a cigarette, first offer of a kiss…… I’ll stop there before I get myself wound up. With the first increasing the importance and danger increase too.

So how do you think children should be warned of dangers? What’s your parenting style? Sugar coated or tells them as it is?

Free is good, we like free. These two offers are green minded too.

Need help to get walking or want to log how well you’re doing? If you’re in the UK you can claim a free GetWalking Pack. It’s a 12 week plan, logbook and step counter. Free, green and healthy!

Are you an E-on customer? If you are, make sure you get one of the free Energy Starter Packs. It has an energy monitor that is worth £45, a booklet full of tips and a CD with energy monitoring software. See where your electric goes and you could be saving money on your yearly bills.

There seems to be a conspiracy going on. Not that statement is strange as there always seems to be something in the news. But this conspiracy is happening within me. My whole body is on a personal attack on my sanity.  It’s not enough that children attack my sanity on a daily bases but now my body is joining in too? Give me a break.

I was coping with the body deciding to give in to middle age spread. I guess it happens to us all but despite being the healthiest I have ever been, the belt on my jeans has had to go to the next notch up. They say that the youth is wasted on the young and that is very much true. Gone are the days of not caring what you ate or when you ate it. Now I watch what I eat, not excessively to the point I obsess over it, more along the lines of not too much red meat, never touch anything that’s fried and eat more salads and fresh veg then I probably ever did the whole of my life. I walk more, ok I am not at the point of going to the gym or anything else as reckless as actually hard lycra clad exercise, but I am gardening everyday and the school run has been known to be a school walk. This still gets brownie points with the exercise gods as the 1 mile route is one big hill. But where as I would drop a belt notch just watching someone exercise, now I am starting to have to consider further actual physical exercise of some sort, as if I didn’t have anything better to do. I will not be doing lycra though.

I was also coping with the odd brain dead moment too. I seem to have started losing all ability of being able to speak English, despite nearly 40 years of English babble happily falling out of my mouth on command. Take today; instead of saying what was in my head “I don’t have any change on me” it came out as “I only have pound notes”. For heaven’s sake they went out of circulation 26 years ago and yes it really was that long ago, I googled it. My children’s ages and current school year has always been a sticky remembering subject. I have to ask them every time I fill yet another school form in. So I assume the now forgetting their actual name is only to be expected. It also puts me into utter confusion now my daughter has 4 friends with names starting with A. Even I know I am starring gormlessly at the A named friend, desperately trying to remember which one they are.

So now that my brain and middle age spread are in cahoots and happening in unison, I declare it a conspiracy and I know I am dwelling far too much on my age at the moment. But it does hit home when your youngest is moving up to secondary school in September then add in the lovely statement that my daughter had great delight in announcing ‘this is your last few months being in your 30’s’.

You work hard on bringing up your children in the correct way and then when they do something you have been striving for, it worries the life out of you.

Yesterday morning I lugged the heavy shopping back from town. Not a usual occurrence for me but the weather couldn’t make up its mind what it’s going to do. The lovely sunny bbq I planned for the evening was cancelled when I woke up to rain. So off to the supermarket I went to get rain suitable food. No sooner as I have paid for it, lugged it home and packed it away and the sun comes out. Bbq back on, no food though for a bbq. Off to town, as bored with the supermarket, to get more supplies. Now the route back from town is a horrible climb up a long hill, add in heavy shopping bags you can imagine I was not best pleased when the rain started again. At that point I was getting quiet irate and this post was going to be more of a rant then it is but I have had the wind knocked out of my sails by my daughter.

I returned home to find the hoover upstairs, switched on and my daughter actually using it. Furthermore she had hovered downstairs first. I should be pleased, I should be proud of the kind considerate daughter I have raised. I am but I am more worried what it’s going to cost me as that much housework means she must want something