My views on what it’s like being a single mum …
Single mum ~ well that’s the obvious bit. Be it from choice, divorce or bereavement.
Hard work ~ No kidding there. You seem to run around the whole time sorting everything out before moving on to the next thing to sort out.
Non Rewarding~ Yes they say thank you for the free taxi service but then they know they are in risk of walking next time. It’s the everyday things that go un-rewarded. You don’t get thanked for worrying over them, teaching them the day to day things.
Funny ~ You don’t normally find things funny at the time. It’s more when you look back at something you can see how funny it was. Like when my daughter shaved her younger brothers hair with my lady shave.
Social Outcast ~ Single doesn’t quiet fit into coupled gatherings. They don’t know if to invite you and you be the only uncoupled person or not invite you and risk upsetting you. Other couples eye you with suspicion. In some eyes I must be sex starved (yeah ok, hands up to that one) and so lonely that I will be after all males regardless if they are coupled up or not.
Just for the record I would like to put this one right. We may be single, sex starved and has the odd lonely moment but we do have morals, ethics and scruples. We are single, not stupid.
Tiring ~ By the time you have done a full days work, picked the children up, had tea, helped with homework, attended to any housework you cant get away with any more and finally sat down is normally time to go to bed to get some sleep before starting all over again the next day.
Lonely Non Existing Social Life ~ Babysitters are two expensive or non existent, helpful volunteering friends will always have something else on the one day of the year you finally do get asked out somewhere. You face the dilemma of socialising with couples which takes you to the social outcast bit again or socialising with your other single friends. It wasn’t until I was singe that I realised all my friends are coupled up. Note to self – find some single friends.
Determination ~ you simply can’t give up. It’s not like you can send the children back (ouch). You do it to prove to all those who say how difficult it is, that it can be done. You do it because you know it will get better. You do it because others have done it; you’re by no means the first person in this situation.
Exhausting ~ The next level up from tiring but with added sick children all night, work deadlines and minor disasters at home like washing machine failure. Has been known that all these things go wrong at once.
Exhilarating ~ that moment when someone comments on how well behaved your children are. When someone says they admire you for what your doing. Those warm fuzzy moments when your child does something brilliant – you helped that child reach that point.
Confidence Building ~ shopping in the local supermarket with just children can induce every lonely granny in the area to stop and talk to you, you even grow to like talking to strangers. It is a case of you simply have to just get on do what ever a partner would do so your confidence builds with out you knowing.
Empowering ~ my children has a walk to school week every year. Being a WSM (working single mum) it is impossible to do this. I am not an athlete to walk the 2 miles too school, then 2 miles back to get the car, to then get to work. Nor do I have a time machine to do all that and get to work on time. I compromised and parked further away as having an ‘I walked to school’ sticker was of high importance to my two. Being brought up to be honest, it was not my kids fault to answer ‘no only up the hill’ when the teacher holding the prized stickers asked if we had walked. I suddenly had a moment of stance. I found myself defending my WSM label with honour. The children had their sticker and we were never questioned in following years.
Related posts:
 Single is a solitary word that can be very soul ...
Being a single mum is hard. Making friends is hard...
When there is only one parent to do everything, ev...
I am sure I am not the only one who gets asked how...
14 Responses to Being a Single Mum Is
Leave a Reply
Facebook
Twitter
RSS
GooglePlus
Perfect description!
I do worry even now what will happen when my son starts school and ‘everyone else’s ‘ Mum can do something and I cant, but I will cope. As single mums, we just do dont we
Thank you
It is amazing the amount of hidden strengths I never knew I had till I became a single mum. You will cope and you will be brillaint at it.
Totally sympathise on the social side – I felt like a real gooseberry after separation, or a charity case in need of sympathy. Ironic really as there are 1.9 million single parents in the UK.
If you fancy beefing up your social life, with and without kids do check out our website http://www.SingleWithKids.co.uk for single parent holidays, meet ups and simply new friends, there’s something going on most weekends around the country.
I love it! recent second time round single mum. We have such a great culture as single mums and we must always stick together. I found myself laughing at everything as its all true. It is hard especially when you’re a WSM trying to keep up with those who stay at home and their fella brings home the bacon………No slight on mums who are single and stay at home as sometimes I go to work to get away from the pressure of it all. I have two kids by separate dads and I know people look at think its me but I know that there are loads of us out there who can hand on heart say we do our damdest for our kids whatever whenever, so you can say what you like when you like, I didn’t ask to be in this situation but when life gives you lemons you can do alot worse than make lemonade!!
Thank you for this article it had made my day xxxx
Thanks for this page, it made me laugh right when I needed it. I’ve only just got onto ‘single Mum’s sites tonight after almost 7 years as a single Mum. I don’t know why I never looked online before for other women in similar situations. I never go out and socialise and haven’t gone on a date in 7 years!!!!
Me and my daughter both agree I’m a crap cook, I really am, but she knows I try, however I’ve amazed myself and others with now being able to renovate a lot of our house myself. I’ve learned to tile floors, walls, lay pavers, I get excited buying a sander and a new drill. I may not improve with the cooking but I can keep the house looking good.
I do get really lonely but at least now I know there’s sites like this where I can hear from others in similar situations
I really like your site design, did you create this yourself or hire someone to design it?
Its made by Elegant Themes who make loads of gorgeous wordpress themes
I hope you never stop! This is one of the best blogs Ive ever read. Youve got some mad skill here. I just hope that you dont lose your style because youre definitely one of the coolest bloggers out there. Please keep it up because the internet needs someone like you spreading the word.
Hiya
Just thought id leave a comment as the stuff you have on here is such an inspiration.. Realised in just 10 minutes that its ok to b a single mum and doing it on ur own can be hard but its not impossible. Thanx for the read. I Will be visiting again. x
love finding company like mine.
it’s true, we might not have shiny gold bands on our left hands but that doesn’t mean we’re not awesome mums, amazing friends, and creative women in our ouwn right!
single mum-ing – the hardest, easiest, most frustrating, tiring, invigorating, confining and liberating phase of my life so far
Can I add another heading please? Inspirational – because this post tells me that you are.
Amen! I never realised it was so hard, thought being a mum was it. but being a single mum is just…well it’s everything you’ve listed! x
Hello – this is an excellent blog. I have been a single mum for 2 years and its bloody hard work, exhausting, rewarding, empowering but incredibly lonely. I work full time in a high pressured job that requires me to travel abroad oftern and I rely on fmaily for help with childcare out of nursery hours. Its terribly isolating and I find my hadest stuggle is juggling the emotions of my 2 boys with my own. Their dad is hardly in the picture and I am left to pick up the pieces when he fails. I will keep checking in on this blog.
thank you
I simply LOVED this post, its ME!!!
Thank you for sharing and writing ..
Admire !! emma xxx