Confessions of a Single Mum

I’m not doing New Year’s resolutions anymore. Up until this year I have pushed myself to make a resolution list. It would be full of ‘new me’ ideas. I have wanted to be a better mum, a better friend, be more glamorous at the school gates, drop a few pounds or tighten up the less than tightened wobbly bits on me. I would start all enthusiastic and burn out by mid January (that’s on a good year).

This year I’m not. Yes I still want to be those things but wise old age is setting in and I have started to think differently. Instead I am focusing on what I do haveand how positiveadjustments can be more beneficial than all out change. Positive adjustments are smaller, more manageable. They focus more on what you actually have and tweak it to work better. To me change is like saying what I already have isnt good enough and I want something new.

If I did do changes who would I actually be doing these changes for? I’m being realistic about who I am, are the changes I want to make actually worth it. I’m realising that it doesn’t actually make you a bad person if there is a bit of a wobble here or there, we’ve just had Christmas for heaven’s sake. Ok I have opted to have fun over Christmas instead of watching every calorie that has passed my way. Do the kids actually love me any less with a wobble, no I don’t think so. Am I striving to be a perfect mum for the kid’s sake or just for my own? They are reasonably well rounded children. They are fed, clothed and watered on regular bases. They have smiles on their faces most days and the days that they don’t I can normally manage to turn the day around for them.

How would I actually implement any new changes? As the clock chimed midnight on New Year’s Eve I didn’t suddenly have less work to do, less housework or less responsibilities. I’m being realistic on what spare time I actually have. I didnt suddenly become rich enough to embark on a gym subscription or have the time to ( or inclination) to actually go to a gym. My wardrobe didn’t magically change into a glamourous one. Instead I will prioritise my ’tweaks’ throughout the year and not beat myself up about the ones that aren’t actually a priority. 

If, though,you are launching a resolution list remember changes don’t happen overnight despite what the adverts say. If a change is worth doing, it’s worth doing it right. Make a plan and be prepared for the long haul. A quick fix is just that and won’t stand the test of time.

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