My views on what it’s like being a single mum …
Single mum ~ well that’s the obvious bit. Be it by choice, divorce or bereavement.
Hard work ~ No kidding there. You seem to run around the whole time sorting everything out before moving on to the next thing to sort out.
Non-Rewarding~ Yes they say thank you for the free taxi service but then they know they are in risk of walking next time. It’s the everyday things that go un-rewarded. You don’t get thanked for worrying over them, teaching them the day to day things.
Funny ~ You don’t normally find things funny at the time. It’s more when you look back at something you can see how funny it was. Like when my daughter shaved her younger brothers hair with my lady shave.
Social Outcast ~ Single doesn’t quite fit into coupled gatherings. They don’t know if to invite you and you be the only uncoupled person or not invite you and risk upsetting you. Other couples eye you with suspicion. In some eyes I must be sex starved (yeah ok, hands up to that one) and so lonely that I will be after all males regardless if they are coupled up or not.
Just for the record, I would like to put this one right. We may be single, sex-starved and has the odd lonely moment but we do have morals, ethics and scruples. We are single, not stupid.
Tiring ~ By the time you have done a full days work, picked the children up, had tea, helped with homework, attended to any housework you can’t get away with anymore and finally sit down is normally time to go to bed to get some sleep before starting all over again the next day.
Lonely Non-Existing Social Life ~ Babysitters are two expensive or non-existent, helpful volunteering friends will always have something else on the one day of the year you finally do get asked out somewhere. You face the dilemma of socialising with couples which takes you to the social outcast bit again or socialising with your other single friends. It wasn’t until I was single that I realised all my friends are coupled up. Note to self – find some single friends.
Determination ~ you simply can’t give up. It’s not like you can send the children back (ouch). You do it to prove to all those who say how difficult it is, that it can be done. You do it because you know it will get better. You do it because others have done it; you’re by no means the first person in this situation.
Exhausting ~ The next level up from tiring but with addedÂ sick children all night, work deadlines and minor disasters at home like washing machine failure. Has been known that all these things go wrong at once.
Exhilarating ~ that moment when someone comments on how well behaved your children are. When someone says they admire you for what you’re doing. Those warm fuzzy moments when your child does something brilliant – you helped that child reach that point.
Confidence Building ~ shopping in the local supermarket with just children can induce every lonely granny in the area to stop and talk to you, you even grow to like talking to strangers. It is a case of you simply have to just get on do whatever a partner would do so your confidence builds without you knowing.
Empowering ~ my children has a walk to school week every year. Being a WSM (working single mum) it is impossible to do this. I am not an athlete to walk the 2 miles to school, then 2 miles back to get the car, to then get to work. Nor do I have a time machine to do all that and get to work on time. I compromised and parked further away as having an ‘I walked to school’ sticker was of high importance to my two. Being brought up, to be honest, it was not my kid’s fault to answer ‘no only up the hill’ when the teacher holding the prized stickers asked if we had walked. I suddenly had a moment of stance. I found myself defending my WSM label with honour. The children had their sticker and we were never questioned in following years.