Comments for Confessions of a Single Mum» Confessions of a single mum

Comment on Five Stages of Grief by LisaAuch

LisaAuch — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 12:35:28 +0000

Found your site by acciedent – 1 year ago ~I was made redundant, it has taken me over a year to get over the Grief of losing such an important factor in my life – in between then to keep myself busy I started palying around on the computer (it was my saviour!)
YOu have great information here!

Lisa

Comment on Introducing Maxlyn – life coach by kirsty

kirsty — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 03:54:05 +0000

Hi
VERY inspiring! I am a life coach and recently single mum to a 18 month boy and 4 year old girl and my daughter ‘assumes’ I am a coach as if ‘doh’ what else would I be?! So you have given me confirmation that Im on the right path and ‘designing’ my own life as a mum, life coach and all round authentic happy person.
Cheers!

Comment on Income Support by cna classes

cna classes — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 12:47:24 +0000

this post is very usefull thx!

Comment on Another Mums Story by sandra

sandra — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 02:03:52 +0000

Hi, I enjoy your blog. This is a cool site and I wanted to post a note to let you know, nice job! Thanks Jessica

Comment on The Real Deal on being a Yummy Mummy by Hivinigar

Hivinigar — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 07:49:46 +0000

Thanks for the welcome Thanks . I will forward this link to all my friends interested in this subject!

Comment on Manners or rather the lack of them by Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 07:48:24 +0000

thanks !! very helpful post!

Comment on Child Benefit by physical therapist

physical therapist — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 11:06:40 +0000

Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!

Comment on Parenting Styles – Do you Sugar Coat or Tell Them As It Is? by April Gabrielle

April Gabrielle — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 06:43:09 +0000

Girl no we should not sugar coat what is reality for our children! From one single mum to another we do our children a disservice when we don’t tell them the truth. I always resented this in the courts during mediation visitation hearings because kids already know what’s going on.

If we don’t tell them the world will and I guess you have to figure out what’s more important, for your child to hear it from you in it’s truest form or from someone who does not have their best interest at heart.

However, even during the truth telling session we need to go back and provide clear explanation and be careful that we are not reacting out of our own fears .. Thanks for this topic!

April Gabrielle
Author
“The Myth of the Broken Home”
http://www.nobrokenhome.com

Comment on Summer Days Out for the Family by Carol Plocek

Carol Plocek — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 18:30:56 +0000

Nice article, i recently came across your blog and have been reading along.. What you wrote is great advice any way that you look at it.

Comment on Stuck in the Middle by Confessions of a single mum

Confessions of a single mum — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:01:12 +0000

Sounds like you are having a tough time with it. Maybe the counselling could help him, boys are famous for keeping their real emotions under wraps. Any other mums with some advice for Loops?

Comment on Stuck in the Middle by Loops

Loops — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 14:51:25 +0000

Your observation on boys and homework really triggered me. My son is 13 and absolutely useless at doing his homework. He tells me he has none, and then gets detention for not doing. Or if he does it he gets so frustrated that I tell him to leave it as it drives me insane. His Father passed away in October so I already have the school on my case for bereavement counselling on top of the homework (or lack of) and turning up for school without the right equipment

Comment on Being Slightly Green Saves the Pennies Too. by Julia

Julia — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 21:55:59 +0000

LOL, the tap is turning it off- he always remembers to wash his hands, but leaves tap running about 5 times out 6!! And yes he should flush first, but it never happens!!

Cant believe anyone changes towels daily- flannels yes, dishclothes yes, but body towels? No way! Maybe put her washing duty for 2 weeks!!

Comment on Slummy Mummy’s top tips – how to save time on housework by Julia

Julia — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 21:44:33 +0000

OK … And there was me wasting all that time on washing up!!
Excellent advice LOL

Comment on Being Slightly Green Saves the Pennies Too. by Confessions of a single mum

Confessions of a single mum — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 13:24:39 +0000

Lol shouldn’t it be flush , tap , light? lol or is tap the new shake for boys these days?
It is hard to get children to understand. My daughter thinks I am bonkers for asking her to cut down on the amount of towels she uses and then puts straight into the wash – every single day!

Comment on Being Slightly Green Saves the Pennies Too. by Jules

Jules — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 15:43:19 +0000

I think my son has only read half your article

He rarely, if ever, flushes but always leaves the tap running after he washes his hands

Given up having conversations about it now. As I see/ heard him leave the toilet I just holler ‘tap, flush, light’
Oh well- maybe he will get it before he is 20!!

Comment on Manners or rather the lack of them by CrazyKarma

CrazyKarma — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:11:09 +0000

I think age does play a part. When you are younger you don’t tend to look past your own world unlike when you are that little bit older your own experiences tell you to think of others as well as yourself.

Thinking about it those people that are not courteous, pleasant or helpful probably wouldn’t be bothered if somebody was ill mannered to them. In my mind I can’t imagine they would be bothered nor can I imagine them teaching their own kids manners.

I’m teaching my kids manners, sometimes I end up teaching other peoples kids; especially the word “Please”!

Comment on The Real Deal on being a Yummy Mummy by Love Tallulah

Love Tallulah — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 19:46:28 +0000

Yipee! good for you, I agree there are so many mums out there feeling that added pressure to look good and as a single mum certainly alot more issues are involved, which incidently points to the fact that alot more assistance ,understanding and support should be given to single families. Last night I treated myself to a night at the cinema to see ,Fish Tank”, I crippled myself first in the usual way,cant leave the children, cant afford to go, cant go alone,cant… I went, I enjoyed I woke this morning soooooooooo much more positive about myself and with alot more energy AND noticibly more male attention but most of all I was able to cope with the daily dramas that unfold with having 4 developing children 2 of which on the brink of Puberty!!!

I cant reinforce enough to all you single mums try so hard just for 15minutes on your own aday, to walk, to read to do nothing anything as long as its for you, after 4 years Ive finally realised how important it is to both your inner and outer beauty!

By the way…. there is only one person you need to look good for and that is YOU!!!!

Comment on Mums who make this site possible by Jacqui

Jacqui — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 11:13:22 +0000

Hi – Wow , I have just stumbled across your web site and I love it. I’m WAY over here in Australia about 1 hour north of Sydney. I’ve been a single mum officially for just over 2 years (unofficially for 4!) My two wonderful Children are Scarlett (4) and Kalin (2 &1/2) Yes its hectic and fullon – I know you know!
Your last paragragh is the one that got me. I have never been able to articulate the good & bad so elequently!
Anyway – Just thought I’d show appreciation….after all we don’t get it enough!
Jacqui

Comment on The Exercise Bit by Confessions of a single mum

Confessions of a single mum — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 21:09:38 +0000

I agree to and I am busy writing something on it. Hope to post in the New Year some ideas as I need them too now my jeans wont do up.

Comment on The Exercise Bit by Jo

Jo — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 19:44:55 +0000

I whole heartedly agree with Jules (25 Nov 09). I have a 4-year old daughter. I can’t exercise in the morning before work, I then drop her off at nursery and go straight to work, leave and (the only exercise I get) speedily walk the 1.5 miles to my car, drive to collect her, get home cook tea, bath & then bed. I can’t nip out for a run (wouldn’t do on dark evenings even if I could) or join a dance class. Yes I’ve done the doing weights thing in my lounge and even tried a few fitness dvd’s but can’t have the sound up as my daughter wakes up. Unless someone invents time travel, I’m at a loss to know when single parents “do exercise” – any ideas?

Comment on Money by Confessions of a single mum

Confessions of a single mum — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 17:37:35 +0000

Found more info on this Wendy at Direct Gov

Comment on Coping with Christmas on your own as a Single Mum by Jules

Jules — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 11:24:36 +0000

Aww Wendy thats so mean! Your poor son

What a nasty piece of work- is she still about?

Comment on Money by wendy

wendy — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:18:14 +0000

There is an new govenment scheme coming out soon where if you are on benefits they will pay 50P for every pound you manage to save.

Comment on Coping with Christmas on your own as a Single Mum by wendy

wendy — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:11:25 +0000

Just a thought but do your kids have to be together at Xmas? Could you not spend a lovely day with daughter, both in jimjams and have one major girly day? Bet she would love it. She could see other family on boxing day. As I said, just a thought, not trying to interfere.

Comment on It can’t be natural by Confessions of a single mum

Confessions of a single mum — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:26:18 +0000

One of the things I did with the kids toys when they were smaller was stow some away in boxes and then rotate them every few months. Cut down on space and gave them ‘new’ toys to play with so kept them amused. Now they are older their idea of a tidy bedroom seems to be a different world to mine.

Comment on It can’t be natural by Jules

Jules — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:22:22 +0000

I cant really claim a perfect bedroom for my DS (well it is at the moment but that is the au pair not me!!- and she finishes her 3 month stint next Friday) but it has improved 3000 fold since I invested in the Trofast- check it out on Ikea’s site. It is amazing for storing all the annoying junk like 158 matchbox cars and 18 different power rangers complete with associated weaponery and having a ‘Power Ranger box’ and ‘Transformer box’ and a ‘stupid annoying toy from fast food restauraunt box’ makes tidying up 100 times quicker

The only thing that still stumps me is the big toys, like the Hotwheels race tracks and shark that you have to sigh things out of his mouth and the like

When you come to tackling your organisation stuff, maybe take a look at the Flylady?

Course at the moment I am lucky that mine isnt quite 5 so i still do the bulk of it, and he doesnt eat etc in his room, but I dread the teenage years!!

Comment on Coping with Christmas on your own as a Single Mum by wendy

wendy — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:59:43 +0000

I would love xmas on my own but you have to be able to trust your ex in order to do this. I now insist on having my kids at Xmas as 2 yrs ago my ex’s g/friend thought it hilarious to buy my son, then 11, a barbie doll!! The evil bag wrecked my sons Xmas and he is stll not over the embarassment and humiliation.

Comment on Sometimes I could Scream by Anita

Anita — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:18:43 +0000

I am lucky enough to have an NHS Dentist, a good one too, it’s a pleasure to go there. OK, I’m foreign, so maybe that’s why.

My big issue is that the school requires that we make dental appointments outside of term time. My work expects me to ‘make up the hours’ if I take time off for an appointment. My dentist expects me to book weeks in advance and only has times available that require me to take two and a half hours off work (by the time I commute back and pick up the boy) and take the boy out of class. I don’t have two and a half hours to spare to make up the time. The school seems to give 4 weeks notice of a training day but the dentist needs booking about 6 weeks in advance. Poo.

I think my dentist has children and therefore isn’t available school holidays. Maybe she’s also a single Mum. The cycle perpetuates…

Comment on Coping with Christmas on your own as a Single Mum by Anita

Anita — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:08:27 +0000

I spent my first Christmas as a single Mum at home alone. I chose to send the boy off to his Granny’s with his Daddy, he would have the Aunties, Uncles and his Daddy’s cousins to make a fuss and I would have mt first child free break. I went to the pub on Christmas Eve with a friend, spent Christmas morning painting my bedroom and cleaning the kitchen, cleaned up to join friends for a traditional lunch, then home in the evening to my clean tidy house.

This year is Daddy’s turn, but he can’t be bothered, Granny’s in a home so the usual family gathering at hers won’t be happening. Actually I find it hard to have a jovial fun Christmas with just me, the boy and the cat, seems a very small gathering. I’m sure we’ll see friends though and will make it known that we are open for callers with the champagne on ice and mulled wine at the ready.

Comment on Coping with Christmas on your own as a Single Mum by Jules

Jules — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 12:04:40 +0000

Sniff!
What a brave blog post.

I am not sure I could be as unselfish as you.

Mind I did love
“Although nice to have a drink, don’t drink too much if there is any hint it will make you sad. Slurring Merry Christmas sarcastically at the TV with bottle in hand really isn’t that sophisticated.”
Very funny!

At the moment (3 years into seperate lives, but 4th Christmas since the infedelity) I am still holding with the line of ‘DS and I are still where we always were. YOU are the one who has gone, so sorry but YOU are the one who misses out.’
That said I have let him have DS for 1 Christmas morning, but it wore the poor lad out so badly I said no more

Love to hear how other single mums do Christmas too

Comment on The Exercise Bit by Confessions of a single mum

Confessions of a single mum — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 16:46:27 +0000

You are right its not one of the better articles. But I do think diet, fitness, exercise and all that stuff are things we still as single mums worry about. So ok , lets get this section redone with all the single mums point of views and ideas. I will collate everyones suggestions and get this whole section redone. Please email me with your ideas of how single mums really manage to exercise, diet and find the time to get a smear of foundation into their busy schedules. ( for any of those who like me cant remember what foundation is let alone mascara, its the stuff in your makeup bag thats probably covered in dust that you use to put on your face )

Comment on The Exercise Bit by Jules

Jules — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 11:09:15 +0000

Arghhhh
I love this site, but I hate the way
‘Do exercise’ is just dropped in here.

I am, of course, a single parent. I work full time. My son is at school.

When do I do this exercise?
Before work? Yes, of course cos my 4 year old can get himself up and dressed whilst I go for a run!
Lunchtime? yeah right, who gets a lunch break these days?
Aftework? Err, no cos thats when I will be picking my worn out little boy up, making dinner, doing bath time etc etc
In the evening? Yeah sure. I will just ask my partner to watch him… Ooops! Silly me!

Sorry, but this is just too annoying. This site is intelligent and reflects our lives, but this just looks like a copy & paste from a beauty magazine

Comment on BBC One want your views by halima

halima — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:31:16 +0000

I am a single mum. My daughter is 3, and i have been single for over a year, althought it does feel like i’ve always been single…

ive been looking for an employement for over a year now. being a single parent on benefits makes it IMPOSSIBLE to find a job.

its easy to “find” a job, send in an application, what gets difficult is being able to get to the interview, having no nursery ( because not afordeble) and all your friends working. And if getting to the interview is possible, there is 95% chances that you’ll etheir a confidence nock out, because what you are wearing says ” single mum peniless, desperate and unprofessionel”.

And if you somehow manage to get the job. you have how long to find a nursery place? nursery place that you didnt apply for, because you could not afford it. now you are faced with the fact that you are about to start working and your child has no one to look after him. Which you probably did not mention at the interview, because, well, u guessed the end of that story.
but if you do get lucky, and every thing goes well for you, which is near to impossible, then you get your job center appointment, and thats when u realise that the part time job ( which is all you can afford to do, unless you have a phd, and years of experience, which garenties you a good place and a good salary) well, is not enougth to pay for your rent, the nursey, the bills, the food, the clothes …..

and so, after the nice advise the your employment coach has given you, which is ” your better of saying on benefits”, you’re back to scare one again. its a nasty vicious circle, that is hard to break from, which is why, going back to college or university is the only realistic option, because you get to inprove you’re skills, which is the only way to get a descent job, to then get out of benefits.

but even that can be a trouble, for me i’ve had to quit college because the nursery was gatting to much, and im now in debt of 700 pounds. so education is out of the question as it would take me forever to pay that back on my 130 pounds a week.

so i have starting seing an employment coach, which is advising me to start doing some volunteering or work experience, to work my up in the field im interesting in, which the best way i can go from here.

only problem is, if i volunteer? how am i gonna pay for nursery?

Comment on DIY single parenting – instructions not included by Dawn

Dawn — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:03:05 +0000

Lovely and very true. When i always list the good things about being a single mum it usually just reflects the bad things from my marriage. It is hard but we can do it!!! No one else to resent when it all has to be done, again, by you!!!! Chin up, its fine, we love our kids and id rather have them all to myself and put up with the chores than their Dad have them all to himself and me only see them every other weekend!!!!!!!!!

Comment on Dating online myths by FilipinaBride

FilipinaBride — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 05:56:05 +0000

You couldn’t have said it better! I agree with all of your points, but most especially on the last argument that it is up to you to make your online dating experience safe and on the second one about being desperate.
Why? The people who actually gets burned online are the ones who are the ones who did not prefer to keep some of their privacy to themselves. While about the being desperate part, well if that’s true, I guess the figures would say that more than a half of the US’ single population is quite desperate, because that’s the number of online dating site users USA have.

Comment on DIY single parenting – instructions not included by jane meadows

jane meadows — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:45:37 +0000

Thank you very much for this post!
i feel inspired to carry on doing my best as single mum.

Comment on Unemployment here I come by Confessions of a single mum

Confessions of a single mum — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 14:15:47 +0000

There are good days when I can take on the world and it’s the best thing that ever happened. Then there are the days I want to hide. The kids did survive their first summer holiday being looked after by me. 6 weeks of just us was daunting but actually we all really enjoyed it. I am though slightly glad they are back into school and routine. I have found I love my own space and living life on my time scale.

Comment on Unemployment here I come by kerry painter

kerry painter — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 14:08:22 +0000

Are you still feeling positive? I’m lucky. Never had to worry about leaving my kids at all. Hope you’re doing ok.

Comment on Believe in Yourself by kerry painter

kerry painter — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 13:58:13 +0000

How true this is. i actually think there’s alot to be said for not having anyone else interfeer. At least your kids can’t play you off against someone else and you know your rules will be consistent and true. WE are heroes.

Comment on In Praise of Soft Play by kerry painter

kerry painter — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 13:24:17 +0000

10-10 for this. There’s also no risk of anyone who hasn’t got a child i.e people with bad intentions, coming across your child. I am blind and i love these places as I know my child is safe and I’m not going to get hit by a swing or some such. There’s also friendly staff to help me should i need it.

Comment on Switching to Benefits by tracy

tracy — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 21:03:18 +0000

ive been down the benefits road so many times but the roughest was 3 months before my son was due and i still didnt get money until he was 6 weeks old!!
at nearly 7 months pregnant i had to go on job seekers allowance for a week as not pregannt enough to qualify for income support yet they said to me we know your not looking for job but have to follow procedure! i got money about 2 weeks after i claimed income support from the job seekers thankfully!
then when he was born took 2 monthd for child benefit and tax credits to be sorted and the cheeky gits at tax credit office didnt backdate my money even thoguh i coudlnt claim till had child benefit number an dthey had backdated my claim! needless to say after a letter they did but not all of it and upped my payments till son was 1 instead!!
my advice in all of this is to chase chase chase! ask when you expect to hear and if you havent heard after shortest possible time contact them! i left it once for 9 week on a diffeent claim then finally conatcted them and they didnt have papers they needed but hadnt bothered to conatct me!! thankfully i have good parents otherwise id have been in the sh*t basically!!
so ring them and ring them till you money in bank and if they dont do somehting they say they will on the day they say it will happen ring them!!!
everything is done by phones too so dont waste time going to job centre unless your goign for interview as cant use thier phones for benefits claims and you have to go to phonebox or use your own phone so get number off internet and do it from your sofa!!
also check and double check eveythign they say or write down as had some things written wrong that coudl have seriously affect my claims!
also go to citizens advice for other things you can claim like community care grant, budjeting loans, healthy start vouchers, crisis loans etc etc!!

Comment on In Praise of Soft Play by tracy

tracy — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 20:53:40 +0000

great!! cant wiat till my son i sold enough to take my eyes off!!!

Comment on Modern Life or More Hard Work? by tracy

tracy — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 20:29:33 +0000

i think youve hit a nail on the head!!
unk food was are when i was a kid and im only 24!! yet i find myself not even thinkging when giving junk to lo! my mum cooked from scratch and they refused to have dishwasher when we were young only to get one the second we all moved out!!
my mum also taught me value of saving up and hence ive had one credt card and now avoid them! so ive learnt valuable lessons in life that telly or the dishwasher cant me so id say technology wise were foward but standard of livng has declined aswere stuck in front of telly and that becomes our vision of the real world!

Comment on Mr Right Theory by tracy

tracy — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 20:18:09 +0000

i disagree! ive only hads one relationship but i dont believe there is a mr right cos surely for mr right to be right id have to be his miss right and if i wasnt then he wouldnt want to be with me therefore he woudlnt be mr right!!
the chances of finding someone to like me, love me , marry and grow old with me are prob great but one who i like and love back who id do anythign for who ill never grow tired of! who like same things as me! too rare! id be hapy to settle mr ok if he wanted same things as me and i never plan to find my one true match as i believe he died in a past life and never got reincarnated as a human in thi life for me to find!!

Comment on In Praise of Soft Play by Jules

Jules — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 10:24:47 +0000

Awesome blog post!
Especially when we are conditioned by parenting websites to think soft play = evil

I am also so chuffed to hear that I am not the only parent who lays down the ‘no parental involvment’ rule when at soft play- I just cant abide squeezing into those darn things.
Thank you xx

Comment on Another Mums Story by Confessions of a single mum

Confessions of a single mum — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 07:08:44 +0000

Kerry – thank you for stopping by and sharing. Its nice to hear others storys to inspire us.

Comment on Another Mums Story by Confessions of a single mum

Confessions of a single mum — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 07:06:44 +0000

Charlotte – yes it is common to feel jealously towards an ex’s new partner. You fear your child will like them more than you etc . But its something you cant let rule your feelings or your choices. The fact you have been thinking about all this for a long time shows you need to sit down and make some choices. Can you sit down and talk to him? Maybe he is feeling the same? Can you talk to a close friend? Whatever choice you do make will be the right one for you. And yes it hurts and is scary but that can be overcome and far better then a many months or years of being unhappy.

Comment on Another Mums Story by charlotte

charlotte — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 06:54:56 +0000

i have been with my fiance for 4 years we have house good jobs and 14 month old daughter but he moans all time has bad temper and i dont think i fancie him any more but i cant seem to brake that to him or even think or make the choice to be a single mum bec im scared and no every one on his side will hate me and havin a small kid makes things really hard . and i feel i would be jelous if he got another girlfriend bec she will be near my daughter is that normal? i have been thinking about this now for 4 months and i cant seem to make my mind up i think to much

Comment on Another Mums Story by Kerry

Kerry — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:20:46 +0000

Hello there, just to say what a wonderful article you’ve wrote. It really has given me hope for the future, i have found myself suddenly a single mum with two very small children, on benefits for the first time etc. I was with their dad [ my fiance] for five years, and at first, the first few months it was incredibly scary. It wasn’t a mutual split, and i wouldn’t have ended it for anything. i had no intention of being without him, who i loved. But as time goes on, and the fact that the children are laughing, makes everday worthwhile and rewarding. Anyone out there who maybe scared of being a single mum; just look into your children’s eyes, and realise how important they are to you, and you to them. They will get you through. Life is short and you really can be happy. And i wish you the very best future, and to everyone else, keep smiling.

Comment on Work on a Low Self Confidence by Trish

Trish — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 01:39:20 +0000

I am about to become a single mum to my sons. In saying that at the moment they have a week with their dad and a week with me. He is moving to Australia with his new fiance so its going to be all me now. I loved this website, alot of it is just so true and humour is brilliant. Thanks

Comment on Being a Single Mum Is by Confessions of a single mum

Confessions of a single mum — Wed, 27 May 2009 17:37:53 +0000

It is amazing the amount of hidden strengths I never knew I had till I became a single mum. You will cope and you will be brillaint at it.

Comment on Being a Single Mum Is by Jules

Jules — Tue, 26 May 2009 22:05:26 +0000

Perfect description!
I do worry even now what will happen when my son starts school and ‘everyone else’s ‘ Mum can do something and I cant, but I will cope. As single mums, we just do dont we
Thank you