I can really relate to this and believe the same. I am guilty of looking at other mums and feeling inadequate on a daily bases. When I was new to being a single parent i really struggled with the small things like getting the kids out the door with matching socks or ironed uniform. They may have been small things but to me at the time they were massive and shouted to the world I was an unfit mother. Granted I am a bit better and do feel a lot better about my parenting skills but I still have a list of confessions that I really should work on.

• I forget to remind my children to brush their teeth every day.
• Some evenings the only gourmet meal I can muster is fish finger sandwiches or a ready meal from the freezer.
• When money is tight and the children are asked to outings like the cinema, we have a standard set of busy excuses to hand.
• I use to not police the hours my children watch TV, play computer games or use the internet. I can now honestly say I do. I use a homemade voucher scheme where the children have a set of cards that have half an hour on each card. They are handed out at the beginning of the week. How many they get is dependent on how good or bad they have been but there is always a maximum. Throughout the week it is up to them when they spend their vouchers and they know that when they are used up that is it for the week.
• If I have work that needs to get done, I do let them watch TV to keep them from saying I am bored every 5 minutes. I even know all the words to just about all the episodes of Tracy Beaker myself.
• If my children had a favourite set of clothes that they would wear every day for eternity, I didn’t fight it. I would creep into their rooms after they had fallen asleep to retrieve the clothes, wash them and then put them back on the floor before they woke up. The fashion faze has now entered their lives so wearing the same thing twice in one month just isn’t done.

Now rereading my list I am hardly on the downward slip of a slippery slope I agree. But I guess there are positives for growing older and being a single mum for 9 years.

My advice would be this, don’t try and be the perfect mum, just be the best you can. The perfect mum doesn’t exist but the best you can does.

The BBC Article can be found here

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So what can it say about me when I recently found that, for several months, I have been carrying around masking tape in my bag. In my defence I have one of those slouchy, can carry loads sort of bag so it’s no wonder it has gone un-noticed for so long. But masking tape? Now I am not a painter or vaguely DIY mad in the slightest so how or why masking tape has got in there is a bit of a mystery. When there is any major work that needs doing such as decorating the house, it is always better to employ skilled painters and decorators. Maybe not for small jobs, but for the bigger ones. I am just a normal single mum with a teenage daughter and a very active son. Maybe it is in there for emergencies, it could be a subconscious thing, like carrying an emergency tool kit. Could be used to keep my son still if use with a lamppost. I must stress it would be a last resort.

Now the saddest thing is that now that I have taken the offending roll of masking tape out of my bag I permanently feel like I am leaving the house forgetting something. So I have returned the masking tape back to the safety of my bag till I remember why I actually carry it around in the first place.

What is the strangest thing you carry round with you?

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I was at a friend’s today for coffee and as usual had to use her loo, which is just passed the bedrooms. I use to think it was a kid thing that they did to check out someone else’s house but now realise that I haven’t grown out of it. But today I wish I had just crossed my legs. I came away not only gob smacked but insanely jealous. Her kid’s bedrooms are perfect. I don’t just mean a quick tidy like you do when in a mad rush when you know someone is coming round. Oh no these bedrooms were all colour co-ordinated, with everything in their place. They were neat and tidy with cute ornaments on the window cill. Books neatly on bookshelves, clean clothes folded on the bottom of the bed. They were so tidy that even in my walk past the door I could tell there was not a thing but clean fresh air under those beds.

Now don’t presume the worse of me, I don’t live in squallier and my house is neat and tidy as it can get with two children. But my efforts just don’t compare. My children are into crafts and drawing so every scrap of paper is one of their prized possessions. What looks like a miss-shape of discarded paper is probably a prised work of art to them. My daughter’s room is the better of the two but then it is so small she has to come out of her room just to change her mind let alone anything else. My son though is destined to be a typical boy. Socks and towels willingly walk out of his room on their own accord. A duvet that looks like it’s trying to escape its environment and to top it off I think half my plates and mugs are hiding in there. I’m just not brave enough to find out where.

So after Christmas, as everything is either done for Christmas or after Christmas on a long list of New Year’s resolutions, I am hatching a plan of attack. I have a feeling though it will be a one woman crusade without my kids support.

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