So how do you cope as a single mum? Well, it’s no secret that it’s not easy. It’s hard work, unrewarding on a daily base and liable for several ups and downs. I am often found wishing the world to stop spinning for a moment as I am sure this isn’t the life I ordered. But if I, who am unorganised, scatty and thinks way too much for any healthy person, can do it then I have every faith in you being able to do it.
The key, I found, was to stop panicking that I couldn’t do it. So my first bit of advice is to stop and breathe for a moment. You’re not the first in this situation and you won’t be the last single mum on this planet. You, of course, are by no means the only single mum wondering how you are going to cope. Calm yourself and your fears of raising unsociable, odd socked and misfit children. You’re using up energy worrying about it ( and maybe even making yourself ill) that could be put to better, more positive use. Every once in a while, try to treat yourself to something simple- whether it be a girls night out with friends, that outfit you’ve been eyeing, or even getting yourself some flowers. A little refresher can create a better outlook on your situation.
The first thing I did was to write a list of what was important to me or worrying me. So write a list. Sometimes just the act of writing it down can put things into perspective. Everyone’s list will be different and there are no right or wrong things to put on the list. If it’s important to you and you don’t think you’re coping with it then put it on the list. (Don’t say all of it- be more specific). It can be simple small things that seem huge right now. It can be huge things that you might have to get outside advice for. You would laugh if you read my list. I even had the small unimportant thing of not letting my children ever go out the door in odd socks. Sounds silly to me now but for me at the time it was important.
After prioritising your list, don’t look at it as a list of failures but a list of challenges to be overcome. Tackle each item one by one. Some things will just need a bit or advanced organising (like my odd sock thing) to other things you might need to seek advice for. When you start ticking things off it should hopefully all become easier.