So if the general advice is that its compatibility that makes a relationship work, what exactly makes us compatible?

For starters think of all the friendships you have and had in your life with both male and females. Now think of those that you consider your best friend, the ones that friendship is effortless. That click you had with that person, you probably find you have had a lot of common ground but compliment each other in other areas.

That’s the sort of compatibility you want in a relationship. Its bit like your very best friend and fancy each other. You goal is to find someone who will ultimately be your partner. In the best and successful partnerships they complement each other, provide strengths where the other needs them. One may be good at organising time the other handling money. It’s easier if you’re not always competing against each other. For example two people who think they are the better one at handling money will silently compete against each other.

Another thing to think on is can you imagine running out of things to say to each other? You hopefully will be sitting across a dining table with for many years. Good friends never tire of talking to each other because they find each others thoughts interesting. They also like to experience things together, explore new territory together, mentally and physically.

You’re not looking for an exact replica of yourself as that would be predictable and irritating. Contrasts make your friendship exciting and challenging. But also too big a contrast that will cause problems so in some areas it is better to be more similar in areas that are your fundamental values like politics, religion and morals.