Confessions of a Single Mum» Confessions of a single mum

Wellies, Nappies and a New Tie

The sun has decided to show itself again after 6 weeks of hiding. Ahh it must be time for the children to go back to school. 6 weeks of rain, not quiet rain and not raining now but will be in a minute, have moved aside for the sunshine. It happens every year so I [...]

Single Mum of Four Gains two Degrees.

As a single mum I never have enough energy or have enough hours in the day. But single mum Vicky Garnett has managed to juggle looking after her four children, teaching part time, all the

Single Mums Do Have Brains.

Carol Vorderman who is a single mum proves that. Carol was also raised by her mum single headedly for ten years before she remarried. Carol. Once famous for being on Countdown, has found a level of contentment in her life. She has written her autobiography, It All Counts, which has put her life in the [...]

Single mum became “entangled in complex benefits system”

It’s been reported in The Western Telegraph that Magistrates handed down 50 hours of unpaid work and £100 costs yesterday (Monday) to a Haverfordwest single mum who had been overpaid £5,261 in benefits. Emily Jane Ardran, of St Marks Close, had previously pleaded guilty to failing to notify the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) that [...]

Nintendo DS Fan?

Then check out the latest post in the Media section on the forum. They are looking for single mums, who are from the UK and a fan of the Nintendo DS. Contact details in the forum. Related Posts:New Forum for Single Mums Whohooo we have a new toy to play with. A ...New Section – Benefits the money kind. [...]

New Forum for Single Mums

Whohooo we have a new toy to play with. A forum for Confessions of a Single Mum. It’ still early days so please if you find something wrong, a section we can’t live with out or anything else please get in contact. I will be adding things as we need them. Post a question for [...]

Fathers Day Ideas

Fathers Day is fast approaching, and the thoughts on many children’s and mother’s minds is what to get your dad’s to show them how much you care on Fathers Day. Moneysupermarket.com has come up with a few ideas which are great gift ideas, but also have money off the full prices. Don’t worry; your dad [...]

Parenting Tips for Single Mums

When there is only one parent to do everything, every bit of help is appreciated. Now I’m not suggesting you have to hire a cook, cleaner and gardener, though very tempting, as that isn’t financially viable. But there are a few things that I am tackling in my children. Not because I am a power [...]

Single Mums – BBC Three Comedy

Showing on Thursday 10 June 21:30 on BBC Three is Dappers. A light hearted comedy set in Bristol and based around two best friends Faye and Ashley who are young mums living on benefits. They have dreams though and are determined to become rich businesswomen, whatever it takes.

Parenting Styles – Do you Sugar Coat or Tell Them As It Is?

Being a single parent uses up every ounce of your juggling skills and if you missed the juggling classes you soon get a crash course in the art of doing 6 things at once as well as more worrying than humanly possible for one person.

Freebies – we like free

Free is good, we like free. These two offers are green minded too. Need help to get walking or want to log how well you’re doing? If you’re in the UK you can claim a free GetWalking Pack. It’s a 12 week plan, logbook and step counter. Free, green and healthy! Are you an E-on [...]

It’s a Conspiracy that I am Sure

There seems to be a conspiracy going on. Not that statement is strange as there always seems to be something in the news. But this conspiracy is happening within me. My whole body is on a personal attack on my sanity. It’s not enough that children attack my sanity on a daily bases but now [...]

Rain, Sunshine and a Hoover

You work hard on bringing up your children in the correct way and then when they do something you have been striving for, it worries the life out of you. Yesterday morning I lugged the heavy shopping back from town. Not a usual occurrence for me but the weather couldn’t make up its mind what [...]

and then they start to grow up.

I know children have to grow up. It’s a fact and will happen no matter how much I protest. Just when you think they will be toddlers forever and never grasp the art of understandable speech or the ability to walk in a straight line, whoosh they are at that awkward stage of not yet [...]

Protecting your home from the kids this summer

At school, kids are able to paint, cut, draw, stencil, charcoal, colour and paper mache until their hearts are content. Then, the summer holidays approach and you realise that all this creative energy will have to be released over the half term. You can’t take your kids out every day of the holidays- it’s not [...]

Anyone fit the bill?

I have had a researcher from BBC 3 contact confessions on the hunt for single mums with a positive and uplifting story to tell on how they managed to support their child financially on one income throughout the recession. They are filming a question and answer debate to discuss issues relating to debt, pay, how [...]

Depression-hit mum setting up support in Accrington

I like good news, happy news and inspiring news. Especially if its about single mums. So to kick the new section of we have an inspiring bit of news.

My rant of the day

I have just spent the morning reading up on the latest news article concerning single mums. I don’t know why I put myself through the agony as it always leaves me fuming. I also guess that the articles are written in such a way that they are intending to wind the readers up as it [...]

The power of positive thinking – coping with life as a single parent

When you parent alone, it’s all too easy to get bogged down in the day to day tedium of life. As smooth and happy as I try to keep the family dynamic, there are plenty of times when I sit down at the end of the day and feel myself slowly slipping down into a [...]

Job Centres – Lone Parent Advisor Error

Being on income support as I was working under 16 hours and my youngest now ten, I was called into the Job Centre to update my details. The recent changes mean I can no longer be on income support, but this was no hardship as my work is getting busier and can now switch to [...]

Summer Days Out for the Family

This time of year is the perfect for having fun with the family. The weather is supposedly warming up and the days seem to last longer, making family days out a great idea. Here at moneysupermarket we have been searching to find the best money saving deals on favourite family outings. Whether it’s a discount [...]

Gardening, Yes I really said Gardening.

Is it an age thing when you start to find yourself in the gardening section of shops? I have never before had an urge to be green fingered apart from the odd pot of chives on the kitchen window cill. I even scoffed at the neighbours gardens all covered in colour and shrubs. But now [...]

Masking Tape and a Confession

I confess to carrying masking tape in my handbag. Why? I don’t know. They say that the contents of your handbag can say a lot about you. Bit of an obvious statement, if you ask me. If you work you are bound to have some sort of business thing going on your bag. Post it [...]

Top 5 Vouchers for the Easter Holidays

Top 5 Vouchers for the Easter Holidays -brought to you by the Vouchersteam at moneysupermarket. Most of us welcome the arrival of Easter weekend as the majority of workers get a nice long weekend off work, which we use to see family, eat lots of chocolate and relax. But for those with children, Easter means [...]

New Film – Motherhood

Motherhood is a new comedy drama starring Uma Thurman as a young mother in New York trying to balance motherhood with work, life and play. Also starring in the movie are Minnie Driver and Anthony Edwards, with a cameo from Jodie Foster. The day-in-the-life feature has Thurman as a mother of two prepping for her [...]

Slummy Mummy’s top tips – how to save time on housework

As ever, another witty and wonderful post from Jo. As a self employed single mum, my time always feels stretched to the max - kids, school, work, home - something just has to give

Single Mums, Scroungers and 5 Live Radio

Apparently the three leaders of the political parties, Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg, are backing a campaign ‘Lets Lose the Labels’ by Gingerbread to stop us single mums from being viewed as ‘lazy scroungers’. ( steam coming out my ears!) To highlight this and get the general public’s views, the radio show 5 [...]

Lots of Lovelly Things

Lots of lovely things have now been added in the Confessions Shop .

A Sad Story that Needs Your Support

I am sure you have read of the sad deaths of Harrison Joyce and Lillian Bagnall-Lambe. Both were strangled by a long looped cord used in blinds. Harrison’s family said they want to prevent this kind of accident happening to other young children. So here at Confessions we are doing our bit by getting the [...]

Being Slightly Green Saves the Pennies Too.

Being a single mum means one of favourite words is save. Save as in electric, water, petrol, food …I try and save anything that will mean more for my money. But it’s starting to dawn on me that some of this saving is actually turning me a bit green. Now I don’t claim to be [...]

Child and Tax Credits

The HM Revenue & Customs quote that 9 out of 10 families with children are entitled to tax credits. The basic requirement is looking after at least one child; you may qualify for Child Tax

Stuck in the Middle

I had been fairly pleased with myself for managing to have one of each, a son and a daughter that is. Now I am not so sure. Boys and girls are very different despite both

Child Maintenance

What is child maintenance? Child maintenance is regular, reliable financial support which helps towards a child’s everyday living costs. The parent who does not have main day-to-day care of the child provides child maintenance

In Work Credit

In work credit is a fixed tax free payment of £40 per week (£60 per week in London). You need to be:

Bringing up children on your own
Starting work of

Job Grant

Job grant is a one off tax free payment when you start work and stop getting benefits. You can claim Job Grant if you take up work and will be working at least 16 hours

Child Benefit

You normally qualify for Child Benefit if you live in the UK and have children aged 16 and under or 20 and under and they are in certain types of education or training

Housing and Council Tax Benefit

Qualifying for this benefit isn’t limited to just being out of work. If you are in work it could be worth checking to see if you are able to make a claim. You won’t

Sure Start Maternity Grant

The Sure Start Maternity Grant is a one off payment of £500 to help with the costs of a new baby. It comes from the Social Fund and you don’t have to pay it back

New Section – Benefits the money kind.

New benefits section has been started. It is a bit of a mammoth job but seeing as it is one of the biggest terms mums

Income Support

Income Support – these are just the bare facts as it can be complicated, there is a lot more information is available at the sites recommended.

You may be able to get Income

New Deal for Lone Parents

New Deal for Lone Parents is a voluntary Jobcentre Plus programme designed to help lone parents into work. It is for parents who don’t currently work but also those who currently work less than 16

Goth Potentials or Life Teaching?

As I lay in bed the other night listening to the kids snoring – would be kind of sweet if it wasn’t through two closed doors, I was thinking about my kids and their bedrooms

The Best Laid Plans of a Single Mum

As a single mum what help is available for those wanting to go going self employed.

Manners or rather the lack of them

Manners - why doesn’t the younger generation possess them anymore? I can’t honestly be the only one who thinks like this or maybe I am. When I was young it was installed into me

How to shrink your household bills in 3 easy steps.

It is true that as single mums we are constantly counting the pennies, stretching things to their limit and finding ways to cut costs. There are 3 easy steps to shrinking your household budget not

Introducing Maxlyn – life coach

I am Maxlyn a life coach and I have been a single mum for nearly eight years now. I have endured all the high's and low's of being a single mum. I can honestly say the

No Resolutions Here

I'm not doing New Year’s resolutions anymore. Up until this year I have pushed myself to make a resolution list. It would be full of ‘new me’ ideas. I have wanted to be a better

Its not always the big things in life

The cat has attacked the Christmas tree for the last time, no more baubles catapulted randomly across the room as he scales the tree and then embarks on a less than cat like descent. Stray

The Real Deal on being a Yummy Mummy

Today things are very different. Women work, damn hard, and then fit in all the other things in life. A single mum does all that and then some more. Oh but now we are supposed to be a yummy mummy too.

It can’t be natural

I confess I am chronically jealous of any of you mums who have perfect kid’s bedrooms. It just can’t be natural. I was at a friend’s today for coffee and as usual had to use her loo, which is just passed the bedrooms. I use to think it was a kid thing that they did to check out someone else’s house but now realise that I haven’t grown out

The pros and cons of life as a single mum

Being a single mum is at the best of times hard work but it is also very rewarding. Here I have talked to other single mums, as well as my own experience to find out the pros and cons of being a single mum.

Three Musketeers in search of purple baubles

There are moments in my single mum life I could wish myself away to another planet. You may be familiar with this feeling too. Like when the children don’t get on and I have to have more peace talks than the United Nations or when I not only singe tea but actually manage to cremate the last viable meal in the cupboards and we have to eat it. I sit

Sometimes I could Scream

I don’t very often use the single mum card nor do I get wound up easily but last week I reached the end of my tether. If your reading this form outside the UK let quickly explain our system here. Basically all your working life just under a third of your wages is taken from your wage packet before it is even paid to you. It’s paid direct to

Coping with Christmas on your own as a Single Mum

I think the hardest part of being a single mum for me is Christmas. I can cope with most things that are thrown at me throughout the year and I am getting a dab hand at DIY. But Christmas is different. When I first separated from my children’s father we decided straight away not to get into the ‘take turns’ scenario over the Christmas period. We at least agreed that

Looking for that Little Black Number ?

Just had this one through and its such a bargain. Wallis are offering Confessions of a Single Mum readers 20% off for the rest of this week. So from Wednesday 25th till Sunday 29th quote the special code of TCB20and get that fabulous 20% off. As an extra saving the 20% code also works on all their

Christmas Lists

On perusing my children’s Christmas present list today, it has struck me how things have changed. I could now harp on about when I was young I was lucky to get an orange in my stocking or how the size of the actual orange was a good indication of how good the present was going to be or not to be as more often the case. But I think my children

Magic of Christmas

One of the main things about Christmas is the sense of magic that the children have. Their little faces lit up with the sheer excitement and belief that a 6ft fat bloke in a red suit does actually deliver their presents. It is also a god send to harassed parents as the old cliché line of being good

Bargain Corner

As money is always tight and now the Christmas season is approaching rapidly, thought I would start to bring you a regular roundup of special offers out there.

DIY single parenting – instructions not included

‘Do it yourself’ is the mantra of single parents everywhere. As a single mum of two daughters, aged seven and fourteen, I know I have to rely on myself if I want anything done at all. When I set out to write about being a single parent I had a good idea of what I wanted to say. It was going to be very balanced – an essay type

Interview with another single mum

Every now and again you meet someone whose situation or experiences just blow you away. There make you realize that actually anything can be conquered. I had one of those experiences this week when i had an email from a fellow single mum. In true form i fired a multitude of questions to find out more about her. So next time you wonder if you can do this single mum lark, remember

BBC One want your views

BBC ONE is making a ground breaking documentary series about unemployment and wants to hear from lone parents who are currently out of work

Are you a lone parent frustrated with being jobless?

Does having children make it harder to find employment?

Fed up with being skint – and judged?

Feel like you have no choices?

Or, are you are happy living the

Believe in Yourself

: Think I will put this on my Christmas List

Believe in yourself and magic will happen - I think this can sum up the highs and lows of being a single mum. When you first start out its daunting to think you will be

Single Mum and Debt Worries

Being a single mum and struggling or trying to cope with money problems is hard. I know as I am one of them.

The Single Mums’ Guide to making friends

Being a single mum is hard. Making friends is hard. But what about combining the two?

Save Money as You Shop

We all like a bargain, so I bet the majority of you would prefer to save money when you buy on the internet. I got into buying on the internet before it was trendy.

I have two children so the idea of dragging them on the quest for a new item never filled me with enthusiasm. Now it’s a way of life.

I don’t

Modern Life or More Hard Work?

I had a conversation the other day with my two children that I thought I would never have. It was about what my childhood was like. It was nothing ghoulish or outstanding, though from their reactions I could have been explaining I was a secret axe murderer. I never occurred to me I would have this conversation as I don’t consider myself that old despite racing towards 40 with my

In Praise of Soft Play

This afternoon I spent four hours at an indoor soft play centre. How, you may be wondering, did I do this without wanting to drown myself in the ball pit? Easy.

Saving Money Generally

Tips on how to save money generally on things aorund the home.

Saving Money in the Kitchen

Use long grain rice instead of basmati Use canned cream instead of fresh Use dried beans and chickpeas instead of canned Use streaky bacon instead of back bacon Use pollack instead of cod Use boneless chicken thighs instead of chicken breasts Use the freezer to store bread and crumpets saves throwing it away what hasn’t been used because it’s past its best. Empty

Saving Money on the Shopping Bill

Do your homework before you shop – if like me you have a choice of several supermarkets it can make your head hurt to remember which one is doing special offers on which products. mySupermarket.co.uk was recommended to me and when I tried it out I was astonished how much you can save just by comparing the supermarkets before hand. Supermarket Loyalty Cards – if they do one

Loyalty Cards

Loyalty Cards and how they can earn you money

Money

In the current financial climate money is tighter than usual. The well off can tighten their belts and still have a decent lifestyle without being affected as much. It’s the families at the lower end that have the most difficulties. I know as I am one of them. When we have already cut back on things just to make the sums add up, we are now faced with the

Is a Divorce Really the Answer

You feel your marriage has hit an all time low but not sure if you want a divorce? Often after a divorce, people will look back and say they wished they had tried harder. Divorce isn’t an easy option and you should be really sure as possible before going down this route. It can be costly not just in money terms but emotionally too. If possible try couples counselling

Are you currently Pregnant?

Paula from Renegade Pictures would like to talk to you...here is what she says... Hi there, I'm writing to you from Renegade Pictures regarding a programme we're making for the BBC about pregnancy. The documentary will be a warm, thoughtful look at pregnancy today, in which our expectant presenter will meet 7 women having a baby at different times of their lives - and with equally diverse lifestyles

Coping as a Single Mum

Coping as a single mum is not easy. I admit its hard work and even I am often found wishing the world to stop spinning for a moment as I am sure this isn’t the life I ordered.

Telling the Children

Telling the children about your intended separation or divorce is never going to be easy. You might not be able to choose when you tell them but if you are able to try and not tell them when something important is happening in their lives like exams. Ideally the pair of you will sit down with all the children and talk to them. Sadly this may not be the case

The Beauty Bit

Being stretched on a budget doesn’t mean you have to give up the beauty lark. Natural and simple has worked for centuries for other women and can work for us too. One of the main things is an inside/outside approach. Eating a good diet and your skin will benefit form it.

The bad news is though that sugar is one of the no’s for the

Switching to Benefits

This week I had to tackle the task of switching from employment to benefits. You would think that these people would talk to each other to make things easier, but I guess that is too obvious. Instead I had to call housing benefit, jobcentre and the tax credit people. Knowing that they only work form the date you inform them I had rung all three on the day I was

Break Up Etiquette- Dumpee

Ok so you been dumped (or you want to know what to do if it happens again). It can be one of the most painful things to experience.

Break Up Etiquette – Dumper

There will be a time in your life when he just isn't the right one for you; He no longer hits your buttons and its time to call it a day. We know its heart breaking so now isn't the time to seek revenge on all men who have trampled all over your heart in a less than human way. Use some break up etiquette. Don't drag it out-

The Self Esteem Bit

Self esteem is a harder to tackle as you have probably spent many, many years accepting and listening to your own negative thoughts. But it is something that can be addressed. Because if it's not addressed then it doesn't matter how great you look you will never feel it. Or whatever dress size or how you weigh you're still not going to feel good or happy. So what is

The Exercise Bit

Exercise, the good thing about exercise is that you don't have to get to medal standards or win silver cups. It's not about being picked for teams or to run marathons. You don't have to be good at it but just actually get your butt out there and do something. A lot of people turn to exercise secondly preferring to just diet. The reason being that exercise actually means you

The Diet Bit

Dieting is easier than you think and doesn't mean you have to starve yourself or lock yourself away for months. First though be honest about how much you eat. - If you think you don't eat much but steadily gained weight then you need to be aware of what you are eating and how much you are eating. The what and how much are the two things alone that

Yummy Mummy

Being a yummy mummy doesn't have to be about having lots of money to look yummy. The most beautiful people in the world are those who feel good inside and out. They have confidence in themselves as they are and this shines through more than any amount of makeup or designer clothes. So what goes into achieving yummy mummy status?

Entitled To

Wanting to know what I might be entitled to once I am not working, I found a really useful site that ( for the UK) tells you what you might be entitled to and from who. www.entitledto.co.uk It explains also what other things you might get financial help after you fill out its questions. It may go on for a few pages but bear with it as I have found

He’s Just Not That Into You

So you trawled you way through the dating sites, been on the blind dates set up by well intended friends and spent a lot of time in the supermarkets, libraries and art galleries and finally found a man. He has even passed the small milestone of being compatible. Now is the time

Unemployment here I come

If your reading this from the UK you will have some idea what the job front is like. I too will be joining the unemployment numbers at the end of this month. Mixed emotions on it though and not quiet the despondent panic stricken response I thought and most presumed I would be. If I get all depressed and start worrying how I will manage then that's negative and not

Men and Bluffing

As we all know men can get quiet good at being liars. Maybe that is why there more male poker players then women. But if you can learn a bit about bluffing, then at least your one step ahead. Over at pinkpoker a poker site for women, they explore how people lie and what to look for. Failing that, learn to play

Work on a Low Self Confidence

If your self confidence took a knock when your relationship ended or wasn't particularly top notch before it can take awhile to get it back on an even keel. Here are eight stages that you can take on gradually, will stop the rot and provide a more balanced picture and help your recover. Stop putting yourself down- have a think about how you talk about yourself. Do you arrive

Five Stages of Grief

After a breakup your confidence can often plummet to all time lows. Those jeans that you thought you look good in suddenly don't make you feel good at all. You're probably feeling very unlovable so if a new person comes along and shows signs of finding you attractive it can give you an enormous confidence boost and lessen the heartache of past rejection. Friends may also be encouraging you to

Why Single Parents cant find Partners

I get several emails and questions from fellow single mums asking why they just can't find a good man. It got me thinking on why single parents can't find partners. It's not due to a lack of partners being available in comparison to when we were younger. If you think about it, divorce rate is currently 1 in 3 marriages. So for every six people, 2 of

I squeak more than the washing machine.

It is the unwritten law, that when you catch the children's lergy that you have spent days nursing them through, that it is the signal for household appliances to go wrong. Trying to explain what went wrong with the washing machine over the phone with a squeaky voice didn't get my washing machine fixed but did give the repair man a good laugh. Did he cave into sympathy and rush

Writing Your Online Dating Ad

So you've decided your about to take the plunge into online dating. In essence what you're going to try to achieve is selling yourself, so before you go wading in and then end up starring blankly at the profile page, here a few pointers in writing a good personal ad. Many of the dating sites provide templates and questionnaires to help, but you will have to have some writing

What Exactly Makes us Compatible

So if the general advice is that its compatibility that makes a relationship work, what exactly makes us compatible? For starters think of all the friendships you have and had in your life with both male and females. Now think of those that you consider your best friend, the ones that friendship is effortless. That click you had with that person, you probably find you have had

Quick Tips

Few Quick helps

Feel the emotions; accept you got to go through them.

Do things you couldn't or didn't do before. I actually like the colour pink but my partner hated it. So now I smile every time I wear pink because it is something I wouldn't do before.

Use the time to learn about

After a Break Up

Everyone in their lifetime will probably experience the heartbreak of a relationship ending. For some it is a devastating experience with many feeling lost, disoriented, and lonely and as if the world has just ended. It is only natural that when you have an emotional loss that you go through stages that are the same as grief, as you are experiencing the death of something. There are

Single parents do date again

Just because you're a single parent and have found yourself suddenly single, it doesn't mean that you will be on your own for the rest of your life or have to rule out finding love again. You might be a bit hesitant and this is perfectly natural. But at some point you will have to find your confidence and self esteem so you can get back out there. There is

Choosing a Dating Site

There are many dating sites to choose from. There are the major sites, smaller sites, free sites, niche sites that cover every imaginable niche and probably a few more I have missed. Don't just jump on the first dating site you come across or is recommended to you. When you have narrowed down your choices, have a look at each dating site from several angles. You can

Up with The Larks

[caption id="attachment_293" align="alignright" width="104" caption="Up With The Larks"][/caption] Its not very often you get the honor to actually know someone who has the determination, stamina and skill to sit and write a book. Let alone have it published. I am very honoured to say I know Tessa Hainsworth who has done just this, and though not

Confession

I confess to being too independent for my own good, stubborn( though comes in handy) and have many moments of dizziness. Although these things can be considered good virtues, I do think I have more than a healthy dose of them