Confessions of a Single Mum

Top 5 Vouchers for the Easter Holidays

Top 5 Vouchers for the Easter Holidays -brought to you by the Vouchersteam at moneysupermarket. Most of us welcome the arrival of Easter weekend as the majority of workers get a nice long weekend off work, which ...

New Film – Motherhood

Motherhood is a new comedy drama starring Uma Thurman as a young mother in New York trying to balance motherhood with work, life and play. Also starring in the movie are Minnie Driver and Anthony ...

Slummy Mummy’s top tips – how to save time on housework

As ever, another witty and wonderful post from Jo. As a self employed single mum, my time always feels stretched to the max - kids, school, work, home - something just has to give

Single Mums, Scroungers and 5 Live Radio

Apparently the three leaders of the political parties, Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg, are backing a campaign ‘Lets Lose the Labels’ by Gingerbread to stop us single mums from being viewed as ‘lazy ...

Lots of Lovelly Things

Lots of lovely things have now been added in the Confessions Shop .

A Sad Story that Needs Your Support

I am sure you have read of the sad deaths of Harrison Joyce and Lillian Bagnall-Lambe. Both were strangled by a long looped cord used in blinds. Harrison’s family said they want to prevent this ...

Being Slightly Green Saves the Pennies Too.

Being a single mum means one of favourite words is save. Save as in electric, water, petrol, food …I try and save anything that will mean more for my money. But it’s starting to dawn ...

Stuck in the Middle

I had been fairly pleased with myself for managing to have one of each, a son and a daughter that is. Now I am not so sure. Boys and girls are very different despite both ...

New Section – Benefits the money kind.

New benefits section has been started. It is a bit of a mammoth job but seeing as it is one of the biggest terms mums are searching for I have started writing the benefits section to ...

Goth Potentials or Life Teaching?

As I lay in bed the other night listening to the kids snoring – would be kind of sweet if it wasn’t through two closed doors, I was thinking about my kids and their bedrooms. ...

The Best Laid Plans of a Single Mum

As a single mum what help is available for those wanting to go going self employed.

Manners or rather the lack of them

Manners – why doesn’t the younger generation possess them anymore? I can’t honestly be the only one who thinks like this or maybe I am. When I was young it was installed into me on a ...

How to shrink your household bills in 3 easy steps.

It is true that as single mums we are constantly counting the pennies, stretching things to their limit and finding ways to cut costs. There are 3 easy steps to shrinking your household budget not ...

Introducing Maxlyn – life coach

I am Maxlyn a life coach and I have been a single mum for nearly eight years now. I have endured all the high’s and low’s of being a single mum. I can honestly say the ...

No Resolutions Here

I’m not doing New Year’s resolutions anymore. Up until this year I have pushed myself to make a resolution list. It would be full of ‘new me’ ideas. I have wanted to be a better ...

Its not always the big things in life

The cat has attacked the Christmas tree for the last time, no more baubles catapulted randomly across the room as he scales the tree and then embarks on a less than cat like descent. Stray ...

The Real Deal on being a Yummy Mummy

Today things are very different. Women work, damn hard, and then fit in all the other things in life. A single mum does all that and then some more. Oh but now we are supposed to be a yummy mummy too.

It can’t be natural

I confess I am chronically jealous of any of you mums who have perfect kid’s bedrooms. It just can’t be natural. I was at a friend’s today for coffee and as usual had to use her loo, which is just passed the bedrooms. I use to think it was a kid thing that they did to check out someone else’s house but now realise that I haven’t grown out

The pros and cons of life as a single mum

Being a single mum is at the best of times hard work but it is also very rewarding. Here I have talked to other single mums, as well as my own experience to find out the pros and cons of being a single mum.

Three Musketeers in search of purple baubles

There are moments in my single mum life I could wish myself away to another planet. You may be familiar with this feeling too. Like when the children don’t get on and I have to have more peace talks than the United Nations or when I not only singe tea but actually manage to cremate the last viable meal in the cupboards and we have to eat it. I sit

Sometimes I could Scream

I don’t very often use the single mum card nor do I get wound up easily but last week I reached the end of my tether. If your reading this form outside the UK let quickly explain our system here. Basically all your working life just under a third of your wages is taken from your wage packet before it is even paid to you. It’s paid direct to

Coping with Christmas on your own as a Single Mum

I think the hardest part of being a single mum for me is Christmas. I can cope with most things that are thrown at me throughout the year and I am getting a dab hand at DIY. But Christmas is different. When I first separated from my children’s father we decided straight away not to get into the ‘take turns’ scenario over the Christmas period. We at least agreed that

Looking for that Little Black Number ?

Just had this one through and its such a bargain. Wallis are offering Confessions of a Single Mum readers 20% off for the rest of this week. So from Wednesday 25th till Sunday 29th quote the special code of TCB20and get that fabulous 20% off. As an extra saving the 20% code also works on all their

Christmas Lists

On perusing my children’s Christmas present list today, it has struck me how things have changed. I could now harp on about when I was young I was lucky to get an orange in my stocking or how the size of the actual orange was a good indication of how good the present was going to be or not to be as more often the case. But I think my children

Magic of Christmas

One of the main things about Christmas is the sense of magic that the children have. Their little faces lit up with the sheer excitement and belief that a 6ft fat bloke in a red suit does actually deliver their presents. It is also a god send to harassed parents as the old cliché line of being good

Bargain Corner

As money is always tight and now the Christmas season is approaching rapidly, thought I would start to bring you a regular roundup of special offers out there.

DIY single parenting – instructions not included

‘Do it yourself’ is the mantra of single parents everywhere. As a single mum of two daughters, aged seven and fourteen, I know I have to rely on myself if I want anything done at all. When I set out to write about being a single parent I had a good idea of what I wanted to say. It was going to be very balanced – an essay type

Interview with another single mum

Every now and again you meet someone whose situation or experiences just blow you away. There make you realize that actually anything can be conquered. I had one of those experiences this week when i had an email from a fellow single mum. In true form i fired a multitude of questions to find out more about her. So next time you wonder if you can do this single mum lark, remember

BBC One want your views

BBC ONE is making a ground breaking documentary series about unemployment and wants to hear from lone parents who are currently out of work

Are you a lone parent frustrated with being jobless?

Does having children make it harder to find employment?

Fed up with being skint – and judged?

Feel like you have no choices?

Or, are you are happy living the

Believe in Yourself

: Think I will put this on my Christmas List

Believe in yourself and magic will happen - I think this can sum up the highs and lows of being a single mum. When you first start out its daunting to think you will be

Single Mum and Debt Worries

Being a single mum and struggling or trying to cope with money problems is hard. I know as I am one of them.

The Single Mums’ Guide to making friends

Being a single mum is hard. Making friends is hard. But what about combining the two?

Save Money as You Shop

We all like a bargain, so I bet the majority of you would prefer to save money when you buy on the internet. I got into buying on the internet before it was trendy.

I have two children so the idea of dragging them on the quest for a new item never filled me with enthusiasm. Now it’s a way of life.

I don’t

Modern Life or More Hard Work?

I had a conversation the other day with my two children that I thought I would never have. It was about what my childhood was like. It was nothing ghoulish or outstanding, though from their reactions I could have been explaining I was a secret axe murderer. I never occurred to me I would have this conversation as I don’t consider myself that old despite racing towards 40 with my

In Praise of Soft Play

This afternoon I spent four hours at an indoor soft play centre. How, you may be wondering, did I do this without wanting to drown myself in the ball pit? Easy.

Saving Money Generally

Tips on how to save money generally on things aorund the home.

Saving Money in the Kitchen

Use long grain rice instead of basmati Use canned cream instead of fresh Use dried beans and chickpeas instead of canned Use streaky bacon instead of back bacon Use pollack instead of cod Use boneless chicken thighs instead of chicken breasts Use the freezer to store bread and crumpets saves throwing it away what hasn’t been used because it’s past its best. Empty

Saving Money on the Shopping Bill

Do your homework before you shop – if like me you have a choice of several supermarkets it can make your head hurt to remember which one is doing special offers on which products. mySupermarket.co.uk was recommended to me and when I tried it out I was astonished how much you can save just by comparing the supermarkets before hand. Supermarket Loyalty Cards – if they do one

Loyalty Cards

Loyalty Cards and how they can earn you money

Money

In the current financial climate money is tighter than usual. The well off can tighten their belts and still have a decent lifestyle without being affected as much. It’s the families at the lower end that have the most difficulties. I know as I am one of them. When we have already cut back on things just to make the sums add up, we are now faced with the

Is a Divorce Really the Answer

You feel your marriage has hit an all time low but not sure if you want a divorce? Often after a divorce, people will look back and say they wished they had tried harder. Divorce isn’t an easy option and you should be really sure as possible before going down this route. It can be costly not just in money terms but emotionally too. If possible try couples counselling

Are you currently Pregnant?

Paula from Renegade Pictures would like to talk to you...here is what she says... Hi there, I'm writing to you from Renegade Pictures regarding a programme we're making for the BBC about pregnancy. The documentary will be a warm, thoughtful look at pregnancy today, in which our expectant presenter will meet 7 women having a baby at different times of their lives - and with equally diverse lifestyles

Coping as a Single Mum

Coping as a single mum is not easy. I admit its hard work and even I am often found wishing the world to stop spinning for a moment as I am sure this isn’t the life I ordered.

Telling the Children

Telling the children about your intended separation or divorce is never going to be easy. You might not be able to choose when you tell them but if you are able to try and not tell them when something important is happening in their lives like exams. Ideally the pair of you will sit down with all the children and talk to them. Sadly this may not be the case

The Beauty Bit

Being stretched on a budget doesn’t mean you have to give up the beauty lark. Natural and simple has worked for centuries for other women and can work for us too. One of the main things is an inside/outside approach. Eating a good diet and your skin will benefit form it.

The bad news is though that sugar is one of the no’s for the

Switching to Benefits

This week I had to tackle the task of switching from employment to benefits. You would think that these people would talk to each other to make things easier, but I guess that is too obvious. Instead I had to call housing benefit, jobcentre and the tax credit people. Knowing that they only work form the date you inform them I had rung all three on the day I was

Break Up Etiquette- Dumpee

Ok so you been dumped (or you want to know what to do if it happens again). It can be one of the most painful things to experience.

Break Up Etiquette – Dumper

There will be a time in your life when he just isn't the right one for you; He no longer hits your buttons and its time to call it a day. We know its heart breaking so now isn't the time to seek revenge on all men who have trampled all over your heart in a less than human way. Use some break up etiquette. Don't drag it out-

The Self Esteem Bit

Self esteem is a harder to tackle as you have probably spent many, many years accepting and listening to your own negative thoughts. But it is something that can be addressed. Because if it's not addressed then it doesn't matter how great you look you will never feel it. Or whatever dress size or how you weigh you're still not going to feel good or happy. So what is

The Exercise Bit

Exercise, the good thing about exercise is that you don't have to get to medal standards or win silver cups. It's not about being picked for teams or to run marathons. You don't have to be good at it but just actually get your butt out there and do something. A lot of people turn to exercise secondly preferring to just diet. The reason being that exercise actually means you

The Diet Bit

Dieting is easier than you think and doesn't mean you have to starve yourself or lock yourself away for months. First though be honest about how much you eat. - If you think you don't eat much but steadily gained weight then you need to be aware of what you are eating and how much you are eating. The what and how much are the two things alone that

Yummy Mummy

Being a yummy mummy doesn't have to be about having lots of money to look yummy. The most beautiful people in the world are those who feel good inside and out. They have confidence in themselves as they are and this shines through more than any amount of makeup or designer clothes. So what goes into achieving yummy mummy status?

Entitled To

Wanting to know what I might be entitled to once I am not working, I found a really useful site that ( for the UK) tells you what you might be entitled to and from who. www.entitledto.co.uk It explains also what other things you might get financial help after you fill out its questions. It may go on for a few pages but bear with it as I have found

He’s Just Not That Into You

So you trawled you way through the dating sites, been on the blind dates set up by well intended friends and spent a lot of time in the supermarkets, libraries and art galleries and finally found a man. He has even passed the small milestone of being compatible. Now is the time

Unemployment here I come

If your reading this from the UK you will have some idea what the job front is like. I too will be joining the unemployment numbers at the end of this month. Mixed emotions on it though and not quiet the despondent panic stricken response I thought and most presumed I would be. If I get all depressed and start worrying how I will manage then that's negative and not

Men and Bluffing

As we all know men can get quiet good at being liars. Maybe that is why there more male poker players then women. But if you can learn a bit about bluffing, then at least your one step ahead. Over at pinkpoker a poker site for women, they explore how people lie and what to look for. Failing that, learn to play

Work on a Low Self Confidence

If your self confidence took a knock when your relationship ended or wasn't particularly top notch before it can take awhile to get it back on an even keel. Here are eight stages that you can take on gradually, will stop the rot and provide a more balanced picture and help your recover. Stop putting yourself down- have a think about how you talk about yourself. Do you arrive

Five Stages of Grief

After a breakup your confidence can often plummet to all time lows. Those jeans that you thought you look good in suddenly don't make you feel good at all. You're probably feeling very unlovable so if a new person comes along and shows signs of finding you attractive it can give you an enormous confidence boost and lessen the heartache of past rejection. Friends may also be encouraging you to

Why Single Parents cant find Partners

I get several emails and questions from fellow single mums asking why they just can't find a good man. It got me thinking on why single parents can't find partners. It's not due to a lack of partners being available in comparison to when we were younger. If you think about it, divorce rate is currently 1 in 3 marriages. So for every six people, 2 of

I squeak more than the washing machine.

It is the unwritten law, that when you catch the children's lergy that you have spent days nursing them through, that it is the signal for household appliances to go wrong. Trying to explain what went wrong with the washing machine over the phone with a squeaky voice didn't get my washing machine fixed but did give the repair man a good laugh. Did he cave into sympathy and rush

Writing Your Online Dating Ad

So you've decided your about to take the plunge into online dating. In essence what you're going to try to achieve is selling yourself, so before you go wading in and then end up starring blankly at the profile page, here a few pointers in writing a good personal ad. Many of the dating sites provide templates and questionnaires to help, but you will have to have some writing

What Exactly Makes us Compatible

So if the general advice is that its compatibility that makes a relationship work, what exactly makes us compatible? For starters think of all the friendships you have and had in your life with both male and females. Now think of those that you consider your best friend, the ones that friendship is effortless. That click you had with that person, you probably find you have had

Quick Tips

Few Quick helps

Feel the emotions; accept you got to go through them.

Do things you couldn't or didn't do before. I actually like the colour pink but my partner hated it. So now I smile every time I wear pink because it is something I wouldn't do before.

Use the time to learn about

After a Break Up

Everyone in their lifetime will probably experience the heartbreak of a relationship ending. For some it is a devastating experience with many feeling lost, disoriented, and lonely and as if the world has just ended. It is only natural that when you have an emotional loss that you go through stages that are the same as grief, as you are experiencing the death of something. There are

Single parents do date again

Just because you're a single parent and have found yourself suddenly single, it doesn't mean that you will be on your own for the rest of your life or have to rule out finding love again. You might be a bit hesitant and this is perfectly natural. But at some point you will have to find your confidence and self esteem so you can get back out there. There is

Choosing a Dating Site

There are many dating sites to choose from. There are the major sites, smaller sites, free sites, niche sites that cover every imaginable niche and probably a few more I have missed. Don't just jump on the first dating site you come across or is recommended to you. When you have narrowed down your choices, have a look at each dating site from several angles. You can

Up with The Larks

[caption id="attachment_293" align="alignright" width="104" caption="Up With The Larks"][/caption] Its not very often you get the honor to actually know someone who has the determination, stamina and skill to sit and write a book. Let alone have it published. I am very honoured to say I know Tessa Hainsworth who has done just this, and though not

Confession

I confess to being too independent for my own good, stubborn( though comes in handy) and have many moments of dizziness. Although these things can be considered good virtues, I do think I have more than a healthy dose of them

A note on Bad Men

If you look up how to find a man on the internet, you will get a load of advice telling you to steer clear of the men who are distant, angry, have baggage, who can't love, who use women, and the commitment phobic. They tell you that you don't want any of those. The problem with this is that its presuming men are either good or bad. That a man

Letter to couple in supermarket

Letter to couple in supermarket. I won't name names as I can't but I don't believe your parents actually need you smoochy and kissims, but it appears this is what you go buy. Now I know it's all very lovely and cute to go shopping together but could please refrain from shopping on a Thursday night again please. Thursday night is my only kid free night. Instead of 'living

Why are some people never single?

I was talking to a friend over coffee one lunch time....ok I lie it was less glamorous. I'll start again. The other evening I had a text conversation with a friend. Were both single parents and both had no sitters. See I am normal. Anyway the discussion was why some people couldn't be alone. Why do some seem to jump from one person to the next with no breathing space

Baggage

Most when on their search for a new partner stipulate no baggage. Well I hate to break it to you but everyone has baggage. Be it from past problems with family, friends or ex partners. If someone claims they are unscathed then they are living in cuckoo land. The real question is not if they have baggage but how they handle their baggage. If someone is burdened

Dating online myths

Men are only after one thing - Well there are millions of men profiles out there so it stands to reason that some will be only looking for one thing. But there are women too in the same boat (hopefully they find each other) There are sites that actually only gear towards the no strings variety. So too there are sites that is clearly dedicated to dating and relationships. So

Wish List pitfalls

Your wish list regarding men might be the thing that's the problem. It might be attracting all the Mr Wrongs. If I was asked what my wish list for the ideal man is then I might answer with honest, romantic and trusting. But these things describe a relationship not an individual. If I put out an advert for a man who is honest, romantic and trusting there would be hundreds

What do men look for

If you're on the tangible search for a man it helps to know what men look for in a woman? If you can gain a small insight to how they think (think might be a bit strong though) then you can have enormous power and your search will be more effective. We all know they are a strange breed but if you accept them as they are and forgive them

8 Types of men I have in my life

Being single I must confess I am perfectly happy with it. I never have a dull moment and rarely get bored. I have though in place a group of friends which unknown to them all make up my support group. There is the childless couple - They happily borrow my children when they want to go to see a kid's film or do something you can't get away with

Online Dating here I come

Its all very well me waffling on about online dating but I need to be out there trying it. So purely in the interest of the site I am out there trying the online dating. ( that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it) I would never ask anyone to do anything that I am not prepared to do myself or experienced myself. I will post updates to keep you

Another Mums Story

When my friend asked me if would write an article for her website I tentatively said 'on what? 'About being a single mum' she informed me with a wry smile, then added, 'I know that you aren't anymore but you did used to have a life!' We have known each other for years now and both being of the Piscean kind we are on the same wave length on a

Mr Right Theory

There is a theory that there is the perfect partner for everyone. I believe it totally and it's not just my romantic side talking. Well if there are over 6 billion people in the world then the odds seem pretty good. So taking this rough figure of 6 billion and assuming it's an equal split of men and women then that leaves 3 billion men to go through. Now even

Being a Single Mum Is

Single Mum life is hard work, non rewarding, funny, tiring and exhausting and thats just the good bits? A quick run down on what it's really like to be a single mum. There is fun in there somewhere - honest.

Good Points

Single is a solitary word that can be very soul destroying. If you let it be that is. Instead of dwelling on the negative points of what single means, I want to embrace the positive sides of single. To me single means I do not have to share the duvet and if I want to roll myself up in like a sausage roll then I can. It means

Me Time

Being exhausted becomes second nature to the point you don't even realise your exhausted anymore. Single handily you're responsible for all areas of your families needs. Juggling finances, making sure homework is done, feeding the tribe and managing their social lives. Having ‘me' time can replenish your energy levels and remind you that you're actually a person too. To keep you running on all cylinders, here are some of things

Mothers Instinct

With a long night ahead of me watching over a sick child, I've settled myself close by him with pen and paper. Caring for a sick child can really bring it home to you that you are a single parent. There is no one there to ‘bounce' your worries and fears on. But it does mean I have to trust my gut instincts more. A doctor once told me

Newly Single

If you have suddenly found yourself in the situation of being a single parent, you may be struggling to know how to get through each day. Weeks are long and you don't even want to contemplate months. You may be suddenly faced with decisions you never thought you would have to make. You will find strength in your self that you never knew you had. I did. I went through

Dating Online

In the good old days, the man would write his sweetheart a perfume scented letter. Then call for afternoon tea. There would be some eye lash fluttering, a bit of blushing then they were married. Now you can text or email a complete stranger and ask if they are up for a shag. Times may have changed but what scares me is what will the future bring? Divorce before marriage?

Dating in the Real World

Dating is, at the best of times, daunting. When you were young it was full of worries like would he call when he said he would. You would spend hours doodling your names in fancy hearts. Now older and somewhat wiser it's not any easier. Granted I have gone past the doodling phase as I do not have enough time on my hands for that. And if he doesn't call

The Struggles

One of the biggest struggles I faced when I first became a single mum is the shear fact of having to do everything by myself. There is no one to blame if it doesn't get done. But there is no one else to take the glory when it goes right. My mindset had to change from I can't fix this to ok right how do I go about fixing this

Learn from Single Parenting

Although single parenting isn't always a choice that is made, it does have it's rewards. I have discovered I am more than capable of doing more than I ever thought possible. I have skills I didn't even know I had. I have become more self reliant and less co-dependent on others for my existence. I have also learnt that true happiness comes from with in and not from other people

Stop Fighting

For you to feel emotionally secure means ending the fighting. Most breakups end with a fight over assets only to loose most of it in solicitors fees. Ask yourself how what your fighting or balances with your emotional well being. You can't start a new life until you end the old one

Allow Yourself Time to Heal

You need time to heal over the loss of your marriage or relationship breakup. Its a death of a relationship and you will need to grieve. Don't rush out into a new relationship or make rash decisions. Move on and forward but gently. You need to get rid of all the emotions of one relationship before you go looking for another

The hard bits no one tells you..

Sometimes there are decisions that you have to make as a single mum that are the hardest thing to do. I don't mean the new shoes type of decision, more the life changing decisions. If both your heat and head are in agreement then it's easy. But when the heart says one thing but your head advises you a different root then it is the hardest thing ever. I have

Confession

I confess to being very tempted when the kids were younger to send them to bed in their uniforms to save time in the morning. I never did though

Confession

I confess to constantly forgetting my kids ages and even their names are beyond me sometimes

Your body….amazing stuff

You proably get loads of useless joke emails everyday. I got one today that was actually worth reading so thought I would share it with you all. HUMAN BODY STATISTICS

Food takes 7 minutes to go from the mouth to the stomach.
A human hair can support a weight of 3 Kg.
The penis of the average man is three times

Dating

In the days of Jane Austen a man would show his preference to a lady by first introducing himself to her family, and try slowly but surely to win her heart by earning the praise of her family. It was a long and sometimes arduous process trying to impress the said lady, and I am sure many gentlemen would have wished it were a tad bit easier to win over

Cloud 9 Challange

When was the last time you did something that really put you up there on Cloud 9? Cloud 9 moments makes you smile inside as well as outside. They can make you all warm and fuzzy or tingle with excitement. Everyone's cloud 9 is unique and we certainly don't have enough cloud 9 moments in our lives.

You know you are getting old when …

You know your getting old when a teenager walks passed you making that awful scuffing noise with there feet. Your first reaction is a frown and then you mutter the immortal words your own mother use to say and you vowed never to utter ''for heavens sake - pick your feet up when you walk''. There is also the moment you ask your teenage daughter her opinion on how you

Recent Joke

I had the joke below sent to me....funny on first reading but not so much when you take into account us single mums do all this AND work full time. Well least as a single mum I don't have the "intimate with spouse" - least that saves me 2 minutes a week.

When do we grow up

My daughter is at the age that she is trying to decide what she wants to be when she grows up. She asked me what I wanted to be when I was growing up. My answer was I hadn't decided yet. She looked at me puzzled. I don't see myself as grown up though so I have yet to decide what I want to be. Even though I may have