When my doctor diagnosed me as having M.E I cried. Not because I had M.E but because I was no longer a mum who was just always ill but a mum who had something to look up, learn about and understand. Having that starting point made it easier to tell my children what was actually wrong with me.
The actual steps of telling my children was made easier by the fact they are both young teens and live with a mobile phone permanently glued to them. They had a firm understanding of the battery life of their beloved phones. So I explained that they had the energy and resources of a mobile phone battery when it’s new. When at 4 bars (fully charged) they can do all the things they want to and only dip into 3 bars and then quickly go back up to 4 bars because they have the 3 bars working to carry on day to day things as they top up to fully charged. I then explained that I live on 1 bar. They knew all too well that when there mobiles are on 1 bar they can’t do much with the phone and have to reserve that one bar in case they need it. Living with one bar they understood that if I did too much I would quickly have no bars and would take longer just to regain that 1 bar and whilst I was trying gain the 1 bar there wasn’t a lot else I could do.
It has taken a bit of time to learn what I can and can’t do with my 1 bar but the children understand. Another thing that helped was being open, honest and talking about M.E it gave them the confidence to talk to their friends too about it. My daughter discovered she had two other friends who mum’s have M.E. This has given her reassurance that she isn’t the only child with a parent with M.E and she can talk to them about it too.
There have been two positives that have come through having M.E. The first was I had to downsize my job. I went from full time to self employed so that I could work from home when I could. Less money meant smaller house and smaller lifestyle. The children encouraged the change as they knew it would make it easier for me so would mean a happier mum and would also mean I was home more which meant happier children. They have learnt that life isn’t always about money; it isn’t always about chasing promotions (it was the stress from my job that brought on the M.E) us three as a family are now happier with having less. The children are doing their options at school and its quiet timely that they have learnt that a job isn’t always about what earns the most but doing something you enjoy the most. Secondly we spend more time together especially in the evenings. Instead of me working in the evenings we spend more time being together. They help with shopping, cooking and housework when I can’t do it on my own, so they are learning things like being less self focused and that food doesn’t cook its self.
You might know that I have another site Parenting Directory. I am trying to compile a directory of useful resources that are recommended by parents for parents.
Parenting Directory now has voting enabled so if you think a site listed on there is really useful you can vote for it or add a comment.
But I need your input on what sites you think are helpful to parents. You can fill in as many or as few as you want below so that they can be added to Parenting Directory.
For example if you always go to a certain site for maths homework, let me know.
Back in the summer I cleared out the garage. It had only taken 2 years of asking the ex for the use of his van (he had offered to help) for it to actually happen. In my reckless moment, high on the excitement of getting rid of ‘stuff’, I was very bold and threw away the artificial Christmas tree. Each year I had promised myself and the kids we would have a new one. Each year we have decorated the (supposedly) 5 foot tree and done our best with missing branches. It was only a few weeks ago I remembered I had done this dead and would actually need to buy a new tree for this year. You would think this would be a simple task but it appears not.
I think I may have done something that’s considered odd. When I divorced, 10 years ago, I kept my married name. I didn’t ‘just forget ‘to change it back to my maiden name as I even went to my in-laws and asked if they minded if I kept the surname. They thanked me for asking and didn’t object at all.
If you’re following me on twitter you may have seen me waffling on about my new project. I have been rather cryptic about it till I was sure it was something that I really wanted to do. The hardest part was thinking of a name for it. I have finally thought of a name but I will keep the suspense just a little longer. It was quiet spooky that whilst I was in thinking mode a leading detergent manufacturer got in contact asking me what I thought of some names they were thinking on for a new site they are planning. The six choices are below, have a look and a vote.
They would also love to hear what your thoughts are on them so please get commenting below too. Imagine they are all websites, which you would click on, which one you wouldn’t. Let me know as much or as little info as you want.
A single mum has won a landmark legal battle against the Child Support Agency, worth £35,600. The Child Support Agency wrongly advised her that her former partner dint have to pay maintenance because he worked in Afghanistan.