When a couple first divorces they are given lots of advice about keeping things civil with the ex-partner for the children. And other things like how that they should not to put the other partner down in front of the children. But there is something that I am now noticing that I wasn’t warned about or even thought about all those years ago as I signed the divorce papers. It’s how different parenting styles affect the children.
My ex-husband and I get on relatively well and we respect each other’s parenting decisions. We work on the rule that what goes on in one house is that parents rules and choices. I don’t criticize how he brings the children up when they are with him and him the same with me.
There is though a difference in how we each parent. It can be things that I don’t mind in my house or maybe I am strict about but down their Dads it’s the opposite. I am not going to list all the little differences as this isn’t my two minutes to ‘get even’; it’s about the differences that add up to two sometimes confused children. It means that my two children are caught up in the middle. It’s not that either one of us is right either. The children of divorce try to please both parents and both parenting styles.
Now that I have realised how different my home and my ex’s home is I do know that I will try and understand how this affects my children.