Everyone in their lifetime will probably experience the heartbreak of a relationship ending. For some it is a devastating experience with many feeling lost, disoriented, and lonely and as if the world has just ended.

It is only natural that when you have an emotional loss that you go through stages that are the same as grief, as you are experiencing the death of something. There are no magical cures or short cuts through the process. It is a painful experience but you do come through it and usually stronger, wiser and a more loving person than before.

When a relationship ends you are faced with two choices. You can either make yourself miserable and dwell on what could have been or face the trauma with courage.

Many will go into a phase of denial and even the ones who feel elated or freed will at some point acknowledge the huge impact that the break up has had on their life.

Anger is a common feeling to feel after the break up. Although you think you will feel loads better to seek revenge in some form, bear in mind it will have impact on not just you but others around you. That other people will view you in different ways after you have sought your revenge and worked out your anger on them. Find another way to work the anger out. Put your energy into exercise or something you love doing.

Try to understand why the relationship failed. Try to look at it from a fly on the wall perspective. Some find it helpful to write a list of the ex’s good and bad points. Over time you might return to this list and change things and probably move things out of the good point section and move them into the bad section.

Blaming it all on the other person isn’t a healthy option as though it makes you feel better it is also portraying you as a victim. Though sad but also very true you can’t not have a relationship with someone who doesn’t want a relationship with you.

In order to get through the pain you have to feel it and acknowledge it and accept it. So getting drunk will just numb it and denying there is anything wrong just puts off the inevitable.

See your break up as a new beginning in you life for you. You may now be able to do things you weren’t able to do before. You may not feel like doing any of them but muster up every ounce of courage and take small steps. It’s a learning experience. Look at your role in the last relationship, how can you learn from it.

This time will pass. Life is a rollercoaster of ups and downs and you should let the ups be the moments that define you, not the downs.