Since Christmas I have been banging on about losing weight. Ever since Christmas my kids have been very supportive, they didn’t even complain too much as I slowly banned all nice things from the house. They have been supportive with yays when I lost 3 lbs. and duly doled out the oh nos when I put those same 3lbs back on again and again. Up and down, up and down is all I did. 2 months on and I am ditching the word diet. Well I wasn’t following a set diet I was just reading labels more and taking note of what I was actually putting into my body. I have never been able to eat fruit; one piece of orange was all it took to …..Well I won’t go into details but the words eye and needle may help you understand and now I can eat fruit till it’s coming out my ears with no trouble. So diet is the wrong word. But something has worried me. My daughter, who is 16, has seen and heard all this. What has she taken from all this? As like most mother daughter relationships, how I assume she views me and how she actually views me are worlds apart. She thinks I am old and not funny at all. Ok she might be right on the old bit but I do have my funny moments. And I mean funny ha ha not funny peculiar.
I asked her the other day if she thought I needed to lose weight. No she said. I asked if she thought I was fat, no she said. She agreed with me that I had put on some weight but she said she thought that was due to my illness, which I guess she is right. I can’t do lots of exercise; there are days I can’t do much of at all. I was worried my daughter saw me wanting to lose weight and I was portraying a bad weight image to her. I am not exactly huge. I use to be a size 8 or 10 and now I am 12 or 14. Without all the facts that could have a damaging effects on a growing teenager.
Why was I trying to lose weight? Because I have had years of different Medias telling me slim is the only way to go, slim is happiness. Now that I am not slim I don’t know how to handle it. But I got to remember I am older, my body doesn’t work like it used to. It’s not my body I need to change as I am probably the healthiest I have ever been, but it’s my thinking I have to change.