According to a survey that Netmums has carried out, the BBC have an article on how parents aren’t being overly honest on our parenting skills. Things like how many hours we let our children watch TV, play computer games etc. That it’s not the celeb mums that are making us feel inadequate but in fact the everyday parents we meet and now at the school gates and in everyday life. (There is a link at the bottom of this article to the BBC article)
I can really relate to this and believe the same. I am guilty of looking at other mums and feeling inadequate on a daily bases. When I was new to being a single parent i really struggled with the small things like getting the kids out the door with matching socks or ironed uniform. They may have been small things but to me at the time they were massive and shouted to the world I was an unfit mother. Granted I am a bit better and do feel a lot better about my parenting skills but I still have a list of confessions that I really should work on.
- I forget to remind my children to brush their teeth every day.
- Some evenings the only gourmet meal I can muster is fish finger sandwiches or a ready meal from the freezer.
- When money is tight and the children are asked to outings like the cinema, we have a standard set of busy excuses to hand.
- I use to not police the hours my children watch TV, play computer games or use the internet. I can now honestly say I do. I use a homemade voucher scheme where the children have a set of cards that have half an hour on each card. They are handed out at the beginning of the week. How many they get is dependent on how good or bad they have been but there is always a maximum. Throughout the week it is up to them when they spend their vouchers and they know that when they are used up that is it for the week.
- If I have work that needs to get done, I do let them watch TV to keep them from saying I am bored every 5 minutes. I even know all the words to just about all the episodes of Tracy Beaker myself.
- If my children had a favourite set of clothes that they would wear every day for eternity, I didn’t fight it. I would creep into their rooms after they had fallen asleep to retrieve the clothes, wash them and then put them back on the floor before they woke up. The fashion faze has now entered their lives so wearing the same thing twice in one month just isn’t done.
Now rereading my list I am hardly on the downward slip of a slippery slope I agree. But I guess there are positives for growing older and being a single mum for 9 years.
My advice would be this, don’t try and be the perfect mum, just be the best you can. The perfect mum doesn’t exist but the best you can does.
The BBC Article can be found here