Golden Weddings and Peeing Hedgehogs

This week my dear parents celebrate their Golden Wedding anniversary. Cheers and clinking of glasses all round. How they managed 50 years is a mystery to me but somehow they have done it They don’t have any special formula for making it work they just sort of knuckled down and got on with it.

So how do you celebrate such an occasion? If it was me I would want comfort and luxury. I would want a four star hotel, big fluffy pillow and a gorgeous meal that I didn’t have to cook.

How are my parents celebrating it? By going camping in a tent. With the British weather as unpredictable as it is, it’s not exactly for the faint hearted. But if you also take into account they are nearly 80 and my mum had two knee replacements last year and still uses a walking stick its even more corages ( or daft).

I await the catastrophe and will report back. I think every holiday they have been on has had an incident of some sort of another. There was the hotel that served my, then vegetarian, mother a plate of cabbage for her main meal. The camping trip that hedgehog got in and peed on all the food or the hotel that was closed due to drugs raid the night before. But I think my favourite has to be their last trip.

It was late in the evening when a high pitched noise started up in their hotel room. It went on and on and when my mother was close to losing her rag my Dad, who hadn’t been able to find the source, presumed it was a faulty fire alarm and wondered down to reception to get it sorted. Reception was deserted so they rang the mobile number displayed for the night porter. The night porter was, as everyone else was, on his way to bed so would be awhile till he got dressed and got there.

Back to the room my Dad went. Mother was now very irate by the noise so he thought the next best thing was to ring the local fire station as it sounded like a fire alarm. One very patient fire officer said he would try and sort it over the phone as the other option was to send the fire brigade out. Not wanting this Dad asked him to instruct him on how to turn the alarm off. Dad started to get frustrated and asked the fire officer to wait a minute as he couldn’t hear him properly over the noise and he would need to put his hearing aid back in to hear him. Under a pile of newspapers there was his hearing aid happily screeching its heart out. It was the hearing aid making the noise all along.

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