Telling the Children

Telling the children about your intended separation or divorce is never going to be easy. You might not be able to choose when you tell them but if you are able to try and not tell them when something important is happening in their lives like exams. Ideally the pair of you will sit down with all the children and talk to them. Sadly this may not be the case and you might have to deliver the news single handed.

• Be as honest and open as possible
• Be calm and optimistic about the future
• Say that you are upset/angry/anxious but don’t get over emotional
• Reassure then that you both love them
• Reassure them that they will still see you both
• Reassure them that it wasn’t their fault
• Be prepared with details of what going to happen
• Be prepared to answer their questions
• Let them know that they can talk to either of you about the situation at any time
• Make your talk age appropriate
• Don’t blame or criticise each other
• Don’t make promises you can’t keep
• Don’t tell them to keep it a secret
• Don’t go into unnecessary details of your relationship

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