I get several emails and questions from fellow single mums asking why they just can’t find a good man. It got me thinking on why single parents can’t find partners.
It’s not due to a lack of partners being available in comparison to when we were younger. If you think about it, divorce rate is currently 1 in 3 marriages. So for every six people, 2 of them are potentially single. So the maths to me indicates it’s not a lack of supply.
There is the obvious bit that you have to be out there. I don’t mean literally loitering on street corners. But actually in a healthy frame of mind to accept someone new into your life and also either out in some sort of social scene (the supermarket does count) or tackling online dating.
Sadly there is the social stigma that comes with being a single parent, which is we are desperate and will gladly accept any offer that is thrown at us. Throw into the mix that we supposed be grateful that this other person took on our complete package, and it is no wonder single parents get targeted by the wrongens in this world.
The truth is that most of us aren’t desperate and any old partner won’t actually do. We are older and wiser than we dated in our teens or twenties when our wish list was severely lacking in quality. Now we have a better idea of what we want or don’t want. We have a life, all be it revolving around school runs and homework. We have views and opinions that are based on life not just what the media forces on us. And as for being grateful they took on the whole package? (This one makes me fume) it is a considerable honour to be allowed into my family unit and be part of our lives.
So maybe its not that we cant find a suitable man because we are single parents, it’s because we have more respect for ourselves than our teenage years and we wont waste our time on any old partner.