Why confessions of a single mum? I thought it was about time I explained why confession of a single mum came about and for you to get to know me.
I’m Kairen and a single mum to my daughter, 21 and my son, 19. I divorced well over 17 years ago and I created Confessions of a Single Mum. I already had another blog so I knew how they worked and another thing I know a lot about is being a single parent. I have had heard all the jibes, had the sneered comments and have well and truly been tarred with the same brush as most single parents get painted with. I knew what it was like to have days when the only adult you talked to was the postman if you were lucky. I knew what it was like to juggle work, child care and a life. I did the online dating, I did the cringe-able dates and I did everything else in-between. I wanted other single parents to know it was actually ok to be a single parent. So I created Confessions of a Single Mum to shout about it.
I still do all my parenting alone. Yes when there is the big things to deal with, the children’s Dad and I do unite and we can be in the same room longer than 10 minutes without bloodshed. But at the end of the day I am still a single parent. I still have to do day to day parenting on my own. I still juggle work, money and children. There are still days I can be the only person I have talked too. There are still days I have to decide to eat or put the heating on. Yes they are now teenagers which in some ways is easier but in other ways it’s a whole new adventure and nightmare.
In my time I have been a seamstress for more years than I can remember making wedding dresses from other people’s imaginations. I moved from sewing to an office when I divorced and only left the office environment a few years ago. Being made redundant was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was a route I was happy to go as I had to make radical lifestyle changes as I was diagnosed with M.E. Yeah its tight and not all plain sailing but it made me discover what I really wanted to do ( not bad for nearly 40 yrs old). I studied for a foundation degree to be a certified nerd (make websites and understand all the jargon) -as for why this website, well it all started from a game of poker.
Now before you mark me down as a gambling unfit mother, let me assure you this really isn’t the case. A couple of male friends were having the argument that a woman is not a good a poker player as the male breed. To prove their point they taught me the game and then invited me to the boy’s poker nights. If you are now imagining me in a smoky dim lit room with shots of liquor being slugged back and a huge pile of money in the middle of the table complete with house keys and children’s savings books, let me paint the real picture. Imagine a normal everyday lounge with 3 blokes and 1 woman sitting around a table with mugs of coffee or tea. There was no pile of money but a small pot of less than a £10 as the buy in was minuscule. That’s it I’m afraid, no sordid details to report. The only thing to report was that I wasn’t invited to many nights. Apparently I, only won on the first week as I had lady luck, the second week it was a fluke and the third week was more lady luck. By the fourth week I, knew my poker nights with them were to come to an end and I was never asked back.
Now, what’s this got to do with confessions? Well, I left the fourth game so irate that I was an outcast for just being good at something I looked up women’s poker in my area, nothing to be had. So I got the idea to make a website for women who wanted to learn to play poker. Pink Poker was around for over two years and I can report it did very well. ( I also learnt that sometimes you have to let go of things and when PinkPoker had run its course)There is a limit to how much poker even I can stomach but I had discovered I loved making the website so I made a website about something I was passionate about. The short of it all confessions came about.
I am passionate about it is ok to be a single mum, that we all don’t have to have or will have the considered normal set up. I get so irate when it is presumed I am waiting for Mr. Right or I can’t possibly be happy being a single mum. I know I am not the first to feel this way nor will I be the last but least now I have somewhere to rant and rave on the subject and hopefully make a difference.
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