They may act all tough and like they know it all. They may even act as if they don’t care two hoots about anything. They may even only contact in you’re a series of grunts and eye movements. But there are 3 things your darling little teen needs to hear from you. Even when you’re feeling like crawling under the nearest cushion and never trying to talk to them again, you need to be saying these 3 things.
1 – That You Love Them, No Matter What – this may be the last thing you want to say to them when they are in throws of teenage life but its something they need to hear. The no matter what is the important bit. Now is the time they need to hear it more than ever. Tell them, show them, just make sure it gets across the teen fog.
2 – You Can Do It – When they were little they were full of belief that they can do anything. I lost count a number of times I just saved my young son as he leaped from a sofa or bed because he really could fly. Then as they get older they learn about fear. They start to doubt themselves and everything they do and suddenly can’t is the only word they know. You’re still their support system, their one who believes in them and cheers them on. Just because they act all ‘know it all’ doesn’t mean you stop being their support system. They need to hear that you believe in them and that you’re supporting them. Even when they flounce off saying no I can’t.
3 – Ask Them How You Can Help – When teens have a problem they go all quiet, angry and/or all berserk like. If at that point you offer advice or a solution, no matter what you say, it will be the wrong thing and met with a no. Instead, bite your tongue and ask what you can do to help. It might spur a bout of solution thinking or mumbling that you can’t do anything BUT there is a lot said for knowing that there is someone there for them. They will hear that bit.