Getting divorced is an upsetting time for you and your family. You know that you can no longer be together, but it doesn’t make it easy when you do split. It can take up to 12 months till the divorce is finalized and you can truly move on. Here’s what you can expect to happen when you go through a divorce, and how to cope with it.
You will go through a wealth of emotions
One of the first things you can expect when you go through a divorce is that you will need to give yourself time as you will go through different emotions. One minute you will feel sad about the divorce, and the next you will feel angry at your ex-partner. You need to give yourself a break and allow yourself to accept that you are now a single mom. It will be different to before, but it doesn’t mean it will not be great. It’s a new chapter where you can do stuff you want to do for a change. You may need to go back to work to support you and your family. It might bring you a wealth of opportunities that you didn’t get to experience before. Give yourself time to adjust to this new chapter and you will soon be willing to embrace it. Here are some tips on how successful moms keep it all together and make it work.
Your kids may all react differently
Another thing you can expect when you go through a divorce is that your kids may all react differently. You need to tread carefully when it comes to them for the sake of their emotional health. You need to make sure that they can carry on their normal lives as much as possible. You need to help them cope with any upheaval that does occur, such as moving out of the family home. As we discussed before, listen to them and make sure they understand that nothing they have done has caused the divorce. Make sure you keep them out of any disputes that are occurring between you and your ex if it’s a rocky divorce. You don’t want them listening to you speaking to the divorce solicitors; keep them away from the divorce as much as possible. Try and speak with them about their father in a polite tone, even if it can be difficult sometimes!
You can expect to lose friends, but make new friends
You can also expect to lose friends when you go through a divorce. If it’s a bad break up, a lot of your mutual friends will, unfortunately, take sides in the divorce. It can be a blessing to find out who your real friends are during this difficult time. However, you can expect to make new friends when you go through a divorce. You will get to speak to more moms who are going it alone. You may also decide to join some classes where you will get to meet a broad range of new people. You can arrange to meet up with them, and you will soon make great new friends who you may never have had the chance to meet before.
You can expect to feel envious of other couples
Another thing you can expect when you go through a divorce is that you can expect to feel envious of other couples. You may feel jealous when you see another family unit altogether, and you will miss the old days. However, you need to concentrate on you and your kids and move forward with your life. As this article explains, constant envy can drain your energy and will make you bitter over time. Therefore, focus on your great kids and the other good things in your life.
You need to accept your ex may move on
You also need to expect when you go through a divorce that your ex-partner may move on with someone else. It can be difficult when you see your ex and his new partner for the first time. However, you need to remember why you are getting divorced and why it didn’t work between the two of you. You don’t have to be friends with them, but you may need a civil relationship because of the kids. And remember, you may start dating someone when you feel you are ready. However, as this feature reveals, you should make sure you wait till you feel like you would like a man, not when you feel you need one.
Remember that it takes time to cope with a divorce. You will have bad and good days for a while, but you will get through it.