When I was young I kinda thought it went like this. You met a bloke, you dated, you married, had a family and the life circle continued. Its how it happened to my parents, they met, married and adopted me. Simple as. So when I had my first heartbreak I was rather taken aback that these things happened outside of the movies. Then the second heartbreak, third, …….you get the picture.
It’s all very well having parents that had done the whole meet-date-marry thing perfectly but is rather useless when you have to deal with heartbreak and they didn’t know how to advise. My Mums best advise was to offer me a menthol cigarette to calm me down as that is what someone did for her when Dad went off to sea for a long tour. You can see my problem there.
So although modern life isn’t always giving the perfect 60+ year marriages that we apparently all want ( not an official stat obviously) what it does give us is life lessons to pass on to others.
The other thing that I totally missed in the relationship lessons, not that I actually had any, was actually meeting Prince Charming is a bit hit and miss and many Prince Charmings are actually dirty rotten scoundrels in disguise. They start off being all nice but suddenly their mask drops leaving you dumbfounded that you believed every word.
But there is good news for us golden oldies. Light at the end of the tunnel. A positive to come out of it all. Its fairly shocking to the younger generation but dating isn’t just for them. It’s not an exclusive party that just the young get invited to. Up and down the country the older generations are searching for things like a senior dating site so that they can meet like-minded folk.
Yep you got it the silver hair and dodgy joints aren’t holding them back and whats more they are totaly enjoying their new found freedom. There are lots of reasons why older people are turning to date sites like over 50s dating. People are no longer sticking around in marriages that no longer work. They are gaining the confidence to stand up and say ‘this isn’t working anymore’ or ‘ I’m not happy anymore’. Having the confidence to admit and say these things opens up a can of worms. Sometimes the relationship is turned around but other times its time to call it quits and find love elsewhere.
There, of course, are the relationship breakups from infidelity which social media is getting blamed for. We get to virtually meet up with old flames who without social media would have happily moved to the other side of the world and never be heard from again. Instead, they pop up in chat boxes and old feelings get flamed.
Whatever the circumstances, find your self back on the dating shelf the other side of 40 isn’t fun. I know as it happened to me recently. You turn from a normal, rational fairly confident person into an irrational person with all confidence totally shot to pieces. The young you could probably bounce back fairly easily but its harder when your older as your very aware the big clock of time is slowly ticking and that the law of averages is not exactly going in your favor with the amount of single same aged people out there.
But the thing is you do bounce back. And if you use one the dating sites that are tailored to your age or interest then you are cutting out a lot of the hard work and a lot of the time wasters or players.
The best thing about it all is when you are dating in your older years it’s just so much better than when you were in your teens or twenties. You have more confidence as there aren’t the nagging questions like do they, or me for that fact, want a family. Would they be good as a parent. Dating someone older that’s all sorted and not an issue. You both are wiser to silly games that we all seem to play when we are younger. We just seem to get on and date properly.
You also have a lot better chance of knowing what you want or don’t want out of a partner and you know where you are going in life. It sounds all very ruthless and uncaring but really it isnt. With all that stuff out the way you have a much better chance of meeting somone who makes you feel like a teenager again. Just all the good bits.
I have since written a more in-depth post about Dating for Single Parents if you would like to read more.