In the good old days, the man would write his sweetheart a perfume scented letter. Then call for afternoon tea. There would be some eyelash fluttering, a bit of blushing and then they were married. Now you can text or email a complete stranger and ask if they are up for a shag. Times may have changed but what scares me is what will the future bring? Divorce before marriage? Dating online is just an advancement to match our new techy lifestyles.
Online dating has been around a few years. I have been there, done it and got the funny stories. At the time that I was active on the online dating scene, there were 2 friends of mine doing the same. We were once described as 3 witches cackling around a cauldron. For the record, one friend met the love of her life through it and still, many years later, blissfully together and happy. The other friend met a few and moved on to meet her true love the old fashioned way. At the pub. Me? Well, I met a few who became good friends and whom I am still in contact with today but as you notice I write on a singles mum website, you might have guessed my not so happy ending. I won’t be trying it again but that said I would recommended trying it even if it’s to strike it off your list of things to try.
I would though warn you and advise you from my experiences.
Keep your wits about you. Take off any rose tinted specs and keep your self grounded. There are many dating sites around. The free, the cheap and the expensive. But all will have a colourful array of the following.
The Desperates. Either not dated for many decades and there will be many reasons why they are single. Or they just been dumped and need a replacement fast. Way too much baggage to blow up and wont be a pretty site. Steer clear.
The Players . This consist of the marrieds, partners doesn’t understand them and the professional daters. Complete with enough slick and smooth talk to melt you then dump you. Steer clear.
The Weirdo’s. Shouldn’t have to explain this one but men pretending to be women , vice versa and lots of other weird things I would rather not dwell on. Steer clear.
The Little honest Gem . As about as rare as hens teeth but they do exist unless there was actually only one and my friend has beaten you to it. Keep hold off with both hands.
As you launch yourself into the world of online dating, it’s good to remember that as you might have shaved the odd pound off your weight in your profile, others shave several dress sizes. Pictures can be altered or complete fake ones used. Ages become just a number. Just like you, others will log on in their pj’s munching late night cereal and washing it down with 6 glasses of wine (moi? As if! ) People will tell you what ever you want to hear and not every one is honest. You get my drift.
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There are two ways to go about the dating bit. Talk talk talk or date date date. TTT you will find one that stands out from the rest and find yourself emailing back and forth, on msn for a lifetime. You can get to know them inside out before you decide to meet. You might though be disappointed when you do meet as the big relationship you have formed in you head could be very different when they are standing in front of you. DDD is where you go through them like you were a Judge live on X Factor shouting next when you’re ready to meet the next one.
Which ever method you use, when you do actually meet them make sure someone knows where you are on the first couple of dates. ( axe murderers don’t always strike on a first date) Make sure you are somewhere which has a mobile signal to avoid SAS entrances from friends when you don’t reply. Keep to busy places. In the daylight if possible. Have plausible get out lines. My cat has been â€˜ rushed to the vets’Â several times to get me out of yuk situations.
Don’t give out personal info. I never gave out my address or even the make of my car. Go with gut feeling and if your unsure don’t go. Or at the very least research. Friends Reunited, Face Book and even Google . As cold as it sounds your meeting a stranger.
I don’t want to make it out to be all gloom and doom. Just keep your wits about you, don’t be gulable and have a damn good laugh.
Finally, some one asked me why I stopped and why I wouldn’t do it again. Well, I was in the local supermarket one day minding my own business and a sales assistant stacking the shelves called me by my online nickname. Luckily I didn’t have the kids with me, but if I had I wouldn’t have been able to run out the shop as quick but how would I have explained why a complete stranger called me blueeyedminx?
“Mummy, why did that shop assistant call you that ?”
“mm I don’t know darling , must know me from when I shopped online”
“What were you shopping for mummy ?”
If you try dating online , please make sure you stay safe. Always let someone know where you are.