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If you have suddenly found yourself in the situation of being a single parent, you may be struggling to know how to get through each day. Weeks are long and you don’t even want to contemplate months. You may be suddenly faced with decisions you never thought you would have to make. You will find strength in your self that you never knew you had. I did. I went through the agonizing pain but I have come through the other side and my children are perfectly normal well-rounded individuals. Here are few things that got me through it all.
Building your own support network around you is so important. It is important that its people you know you can depend on. Close friends and family will normally be your first thought. But if you actually write a list you might be surprised who else will be on it. Writing it down reaffirms that you are not actually alone. I wrote my list down in a pocket fancy notepad and kept it in my bag. My support group was, in a way, always with me.
Make sure you have time alone. It’s good to have friends and family always there to check your ok but you will also benefit immensely from having time on your own. It will give you a chance to just sit, ponder and think. I found it really beneficial. I was able to put things into perspective, it gave me valuable healing. I would have a bath in the evenings to give me the 10 minutes space and calm I needed.
Time with your Children-
You will probably be spending a lot of time with your children in just body but not in mind. Your mind will be racing off on all other tangents. Make sure you do something with your children where you there in mind and body. I would play a board game or go for a walk with them. I would make sure that I would concentrate on just that. I wouldn’t allow myself to let my mind wander. It helped my children see that I was ok and that they would be ok.
Don’t make any quick, rash decisions.
It’s easy to make these when you want a situation to change or go away and you might not be making the right decision. Be informed about your financial situation then make any decisions on living arrangements and finances when you have had a chance to seek professional advice. Make decisions at your pace, when you’re ready to.
Allow yourself to grieve.
Becoming singe can come from many different journeys. Be it the loss of a spouse, a marriage breakdown or re-adjusting your dreams. It’s a loss and a loss needs to go through the grieving process to enable you to eventually move on.
Your health will be the last thing on your mind and you have probably gone right off food. I really went off my food and then when I did eat, I wasn’t eating properly. By not having the right nourishment and vitamins from the right foods I made myself a lot worse than I actually needed to be. I can’t stress how important it is to eat healthy food. For you to be able to look after your children, you first have to be well enough to do so.
Let go of things that don’t work for you.
Be it attitudes, habits or choices. Same goes for things in your past that you can’t change. Let go of any unhealthy guilt or remorse.
Finally don’t be afraid to ask for help.
It doesn’t mean you’re less of a person, it actually means quite the opposite as asking for help can be the hardest thing to do. You don’t have to pretend to be a superhero and save the world all by your self. Save that for another day, it will still be there.